1
00:02:54,179 --> 00:02:56,556
And now by the virtue

2
00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:00,852
of the authority vested in me
by the laws of the state of Illinois,

3
00:03:00,936 --> 00:03:04,022
I pronounce that you
are husband and wife.

4
00:03:05,065 --> 00:03:07,067
May your days be long together

5
00:03:07,150 --> 00:03:09,069
and the joys ever increasing.

6
00:03:10,404 --> 00:03:11,738
Kiss the bride.

7
00:03:37,431 --> 00:03:39,391
Hey, there. Hi, there. Hello.

8
00:03:39,474 --> 00:03:41,226
Come here often?

9
00:03:41,309 --> 00:03:42,352
Yeah.

10
00:03:46,857 --> 00:03:48,108
- Hi, how you doing?
- Pretty good.

11
00:03:48,191 --> 00:03:49,484
Mmm-hmm.

12
00:03:49,860 --> 00:03:51,069
This is my place here.

13
00:03:51,153 --> 00:03:52,362
Super.

14
00:03:52,446 --> 00:03:54,156
Mmm-hmm. Impressive, isn't it?

15
00:03:54,239 --> 00:03:55,240
Phew.

16
00:03:55,907 --> 00:03:57,947
I introduced the bride and
groom. Did you know that?

17
00:03:57,993 --> 00:03:59,077
- Nope.
- Oh?

18
00:03:59,161 --> 00:04:00,481
Would you like to hear the story?

19
00:04:00,912 --> 00:04:02,205
Sure, yeah.

20
00:04:04,332 --> 00:04:06,293
- Just get me a scotch.
- I think that'd be best.

21
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,211
Hey, Linda, what's up?

22
00:04:08,295 --> 00:04:10,213
Hi, how are you?

23
00:04:10,297 --> 00:04:11,882
- Good, good. How are you?
- Fine.

24
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:13,085
Look at you. You look great.

25
00:04:13,133 --> 00:04:14,176
Not as good as you.

26
00:04:14,259 --> 00:04:15,719
Oh, well, I showered.

27
00:04:19,181 --> 00:04:21,975
Table four. I got the caterer to switch me.

28
00:04:22,058 --> 00:04:23,119
We're gonna be sitting together.

29
00:04:23,143 --> 00:04:24,728
Oh, good, we can catch up.

30
00:04:24,811 --> 00:04:26,146
Absolutely. How you been?

31
00:04:26,229 --> 00:04:27,230
Good. Good.

32
00:04:27,314 --> 00:04:29,024
This is a great house you have here.

33
00:04:29,107 --> 00:04:30,275
Oh, thanks, thanks.

34
00:04:30,358 --> 00:04:32,694
Real nice of you to let the
kids have it for the affair.

35
00:04:32,778 --> 00:04:34,070
Absolutely. Yeah.

36
00:04:34,154 --> 00:04:36,615
Guess they couldn't spring
for a band though, huh?

37
00:04:36,698 --> 00:04:37,783
Do I know you?

38
00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:39,034
No, I'm crashing.

39
00:04:39,117 --> 00:04:40,178
Whose wedding is this anyway?

40
00:04:40,202 --> 00:04:42,788
Kidding, kidding.

41
00:04:42,871 --> 00:04:44,664
I'm laughing.

42
00:04:44,748 --> 00:04:46,124
No, I'm here with Vicki Pelam.

43
00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:48,126
She went to Northwestern with the bride.

44
00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:49,437
We're getting married next Christmas.

45
00:04:49,461 --> 00:04:50,462
Well, congratulations.

46
00:04:50,545 --> 00:04:51,838
Thank you, thank you.

47
00:04:51,922 --> 00:04:54,299
Don't know where we're
gonna have the ceremony yet,

48
00:04:54,382 --> 00:04:57,552
but, gotta tell you, it's a great
house. Great, great house.

49
00:04:57,636 --> 00:04:59,805
- Hi, honey.
- Oh, hi, honey.

50
00:04:59,888 --> 00:05:03,058
Honey, this is Linda. This is her house.

51
00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:04,392
- Really?
- Yeah.

52
00:05:04,476 --> 00:05:07,145
Oh, my God, Lynn. How
did they land your house?

53
00:05:07,229 --> 00:05:09,856
I mean, are you like
family or friend or what?

54
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,566
Oh, I introduced the bride and groom.

55
00:05:11,650 --> 00:05:13,151
You know the whole story.

56
00:05:13,235 --> 00:05:15,529
Oh, my God, I've been
dying to hear about this.

57
00:05:15,612 --> 00:05:17,614
That's true. She called
the bride 10 times.

58
00:05:17,697 --> 00:05:19,199
Hasn't gotten one call back.

59
00:05:19,282 --> 00:05:20,659
- I'm sure.
- Yeah.

60
00:05:20,742 --> 00:05:22,160
But, Lynn, tell us the story.

61
00:05:22,244 --> 00:05:24,079
- Mmm, I don't know.
- You don't know it?

62
00:05:24,162 --> 00:05:25,914
- She doesn't know it.
- Oh, no. I know it.

63
00:05:25,997 --> 00:05:27,642
- She doesn't know it.
- I know the whole thing.

64
00:05:27,666 --> 00:05:29,292
- You don't know it.
- Oh, I know it.

65
00:05:30,836 --> 00:05:32,045
I'm responsible for it.

66
00:05:32,504 --> 00:05:34,339
Well, then tell us for Christ's sake.

67
00:05:34,422 --> 00:05:35,817
Yeah, come on, Lynn. Tell us the story.

68
00:05:35,841 --> 00:05:38,319
Well, I'm the hostess. I got a
lot of people to see, things to do.

69
00:05:38,343 --> 00:05:39,987
- How long could it take? Come on.
- No, I really can't.

70
00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:41,012
What, five minutes?

71
00:05:41,096 --> 00:05:42,764
- It's only five minutes.
- Mmm, all right.

72
00:05:42,848 --> 00:05:45,183
Fill this up, will you?

73
00:05:45,267 --> 00:05:49,437
Well, Max and Jay have
been friends since birth.

74
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:52,858
<i>Now I come into the picture.</i>

75
00:05:52,941 --> 00:05:54,693
To put it modestly, I discovered Jay.

76
00:05:54,776 --> 00:05:55,777
Really?

77
00:05:55,861 --> 00:05:58,446
I decided that our house
would release his first book,

78
00:05:58,530 --> 00:06:01,032
even though every publisher
in town had passed.

79
00:06:01,116 --> 00:06:04,035
Well, you could imagine
how happy he was about this.

80
00:06:04,119 --> 00:06:07,163
I'm very happy about this.

81
00:06:07,247 --> 00:06:08,415
Okay.

82
00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:12,127
I had the perfect editor for
him. A young, fast-rising talent.

83
00:06:12,210 --> 00:06:13,211
Sam.

84
00:06:13,295 --> 00:06:14,880
Samantha Andrews, Jay Murphy.

85
00:06:14,963 --> 00:06:16,089
Sam, Jay. Jay, Sam.

86
00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:18,008
- It's very nice to meet you.
- Hi. You, too.

87
00:06:18,091 --> 00:06:20,468
<i>I knew her style was
the perfect match for his.</i>

88
00:06:20,552 --> 00:06:23,179
Of course, I was concerned about
a possible romance between them,

89
00:06:23,263 --> 00:06:24,323
and how it might affect the book,

90
00:06:24,347 --> 00:06:25,974
but my fears quickly subsided,

91
00:06:26,057 --> 00:06:30,812
because Jay was clearly not in the right
frame of mind to be looking for romance.

92
00:06:34,316 --> 00:06:35,567
Is anyone sitting here?

93
00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:36,818
I don't care.

94
00:06:36,902 --> 00:06:40,989
The first thing he thought of
regarding Sam and romance was Max.

95
00:06:41,072 --> 00:06:42,073
What up, Chicago?

96
00:06:42,157 --> 00:06:45,535
This is Max Abbitt reporting
live at Wrigley Field.

97
00:06:45,619 --> 00:06:46,912
How am I doing? How do I look?

98
00:06:46,995 --> 00:06:48,371
Great. You look great.

99
00:06:48,455 --> 00:06:50,957
You know, I'm not
wearing any underwear.

100
00:06:51,041 --> 00:06:52,125
Huh?

101
00:06:52,208 --> 00:06:53,811
Hey, Abbitt, who was
that girl who was with you

102
00:06:53,835 --> 00:06:55,670
last night at the Mambo Room?

103
00:06:55,754 --> 00:06:57,672
Keep your glove off her, Sosa.

104
00:06:58,924 --> 00:07:00,133
You...

105
00:07:00,884 --> 00:07:01,885
What?

106
00:07:01,968 --> 00:07:03,428
Well, who the fuck was she?

107
00:07:03,511 --> 00:07:04,804
What, are we married?

108
00:07:04,888 --> 00:07:08,850
Obviously Max was not having any
problem finding women on his own.

109
00:07:08,934 --> 00:07:11,227
But Jay didn't approve of any of them,

110
00:07:11,311 --> 00:07:15,023
and he was convinced that he
knew exactly what Max needed.

111
00:07:16,566 --> 00:07:19,069
I thought we agreed not to
set each other up anymore.

112
00:07:19,152 --> 00:07:22,238
No, I agreed not to let
you set me up anymore

113
00:07:22,322 --> 00:07:24,824
after that girl who you
said was perfect for me

114
00:07:24,908 --> 00:07:26,952
tied me up and came out
with that hood and cane

115
00:07:27,035 --> 00:07:28,512
and offered to beat the shit out of me.

116
00:07:28,536 --> 00:07:29,537
You didn't like Xena?

117
00:07:29,621 --> 00:07:31,164
No, I didn't like Xena.

118
00:07:31,247 --> 00:07:35,085
I also agreed that I was gonna help
put an end to your hedonistic lifestyle.

119
00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:36,920
I know what that means, okay?

120
00:07:37,003 --> 00:07:39,506
I mean, Max, you don't wanna
become that 40-year-old guy

121
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:41,007
who's still out at the clubs

122
00:07:41,091 --> 00:07:42,884
with the silk shirt and gold chains

123
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:44,970
trying to pick up on college girls, do you?

124
00:07:45,053 --> 00:07:48,098
Of course not, Jay. At
40, I wanna be the bald guy

125
00:07:48,181 --> 00:07:49,683
with the ponytail and a Harley

126
00:07:49,766 --> 00:07:51,476
trying to pick up high school girls.

127
00:07:51,559 --> 00:07:52,769
You're an idiot.

128
00:07:52,852 --> 00:07:53,937
You're the one in therapy.

129
00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:55,122
You're the one who should be.

130
00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:56,982
Maybe you can get me in.

131
00:07:57,065 --> 00:07:58,542
I always wanted to pay
100 bucks an hour

132
00:07:58,566 --> 00:08:01,069
to talk myself out of being happy.

133
00:08:01,319 --> 00:08:02,988
Why are we meeting in the zoo anyway?

134
00:08:03,071 --> 00:08:04,322
It's a good environment.

135
00:08:04,406 --> 00:08:06,491
Show her you're the kind
of guy who likes animals.

136
00:08:06,574 --> 00:08:08,803
Oh, you know what? Don't
worry about my appearance, okay?

137
00:08:08,827 --> 00:08:10,662
- Worry about hers.
- Trust me, Max, okay?

138
00:08:10,745 --> 00:08:12,065
I don't have to worry about hers.

139
00:08:12,122 --> 00:08:13,999
What, the Queen of England is perfect?

140
00:08:14,082 --> 00:08:15,375
She's not from England.

141
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,127
- I thought she was.
- No, you didn't.

142
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:20,130
It's just that England's the only
country in Europe you know of.

143
00:08:21,297 --> 00:08:23,609
- Besides, you know, she's been here so long...
- What up, Max?

144
00:08:23,633 --> 00:08:25,593
What up? Yeah.

145
00:08:25,677 --> 00:08:28,138
She's been here so long, she's
basically been Americanized.

146
00:08:28,221 --> 00:08:29,222
Really?

147
00:08:29,305 --> 00:08:31,057
You Americanize her?

148
00:08:31,141 --> 00:08:32,142
What?

149
00:08:32,225 --> 00:08:33,435
You know, bang her?

150
00:08:33,518 --> 00:08:36,229
Why would I set you up
with some girl that I banged?

151
00:08:36,312 --> 00:08:37,981
Share the wealth, brother.

152
00:08:38,064 --> 00:08:39,232
You know? I banged Xena.

153
00:08:39,315 --> 00:08:41,151
I liked the hood and the cape. That's me.

154
00:08:41,234 --> 00:08:43,069
My question to you is,
what is wrong with her?

155
00:08:43,153 --> 00:08:44,529
If this girl is so great,

156
00:08:44,612 --> 00:08:46,573
why haven't you banged her yet, Jay?

157
00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:49,117
Neanderthal, she's my editor.

158
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,994
My book is about my ex-girlfriend.

159
00:08:51,077 --> 00:08:52,954
She knows every intimate detail.

160
00:08:53,038 --> 00:08:54,039
So?

161
00:08:54,122 --> 00:08:55,307
Besides, I'm in a mourning period.

162
00:08:55,331 --> 00:08:56,958
I can't even think about another woman.

163
00:08:57,042 --> 00:08:58,668
See? You say shit like that to me,

164
00:08:58,752 --> 00:09:01,171
it makes me seriously
question your orientation.

165
00:09:01,254 --> 00:09:03,089
What, you've never been
in a mourning period

166
00:09:03,173 --> 00:09:04,653
where you just didn't wanna have sex?

167
00:09:06,009 --> 00:09:07,052
No.

168
00:09:07,552 --> 00:09:09,232
You know what? Maybe
this isn't gonna work.

169
00:09:09,304 --> 00:09:10,430
God, lighten up.

170
00:09:10,513 --> 00:09:12,867
You've been away writing a
little book in Europe for six months.

171
00:09:12,891 --> 00:09:15,310
Look at me, huh? I've changed.

172
00:09:15,393 --> 00:09:17,062
I'm mature now.

173
00:09:17,395 --> 00:09:20,065
Yeah, I can see that. Lose the toothpick.

174
00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:21,566
What?

175
00:09:21,649 --> 00:09:24,277
Lose the toothpick. It looks ridiculous.

176
00:09:25,987 --> 00:09:29,115
First of all, this is not a
toothpick, okay, Mr. Ignorant?

177
00:09:29,199 --> 00:09:31,951
This is an Australian chewing stick.

178
00:09:32,035 --> 00:09:33,078
Ah. Yeah.

179
00:09:33,161 --> 00:09:35,161
See, college boy? I know
other countries in Europe.

180
00:09:35,205 --> 00:09:37,999
Yeah, I'm sure you do.
Just lose it. It's not her.

181
00:09:38,083 --> 00:09:39,584
No, it's not her. It's me, Jay.

182
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:40,919
That's why it's in my mouth.

183
00:09:41,002 --> 00:09:42,879
Shut up. Here she comes.

184
00:09:49,552 --> 00:09:50,970
Hold this.

185
00:09:54,933 --> 00:09:57,393
- Hi.
- Sam, Max. Max, Sam.

186
00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:00,105
Hi. Nice to meet you.

187
00:10:00,188 --> 00:10:01,564
Hi. Nice to meet you.

188
00:10:01,648 --> 00:10:05,068
You like Italian food?
A nice chicken parmesan?

189
00:10:09,572 --> 00:10:10,615
Who is it?

190
00:10:18,915 --> 00:10:20,041
Who is it?

191
00:10:22,418 --> 00:10:25,046
I'm coming. Jesus, who is it?

192
00:10:25,130 --> 00:10:27,257
Open the fucking door.

193
00:10:29,634 --> 00:10:30,885
How could you?

194
00:10:30,969 --> 00:10:33,012
How could I what? What time is it?

195
00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:34,389
It's 6:30.

196
00:10:34,472 --> 00:10:36,516
In the morning?
What are you doing here?

197
00:10:36,599 --> 00:10:37,600
What was this, huh?

198
00:10:37,684 --> 00:10:39,894
A setup to, what, humiliate me?

199
00:10:39,978 --> 00:10:41,104
What are you talking about?

200
00:10:41,187 --> 00:10:44,023
I have a reputation in this town, Jay.

201
00:10:44,107 --> 00:10:46,943
And you set me up with this animal?

202
00:10:47,026 --> 00:10:48,945
Animal? It didn't go well?

203
00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:51,364
No, it didn't go well.

204
00:10:51,447 --> 00:10:54,159
For future reference, when
you list someone's credentials,

205
00:10:54,242 --> 00:10:57,829
and you say they're
beautiful, smart and funny,

206
00:10:57,912 --> 00:11:00,999
here's an idea, don't forget to
mention psychotic fucking drunk.

207
00:11:01,082 --> 00:11:02,375
She got drunk?

208
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:04,210
It was like a scene out of <i>Barfly.</i>

209
00:11:04,294 --> 00:11:05,420
The bride drinks?

210
00:11:05,503 --> 00:11:06,838
Like a fish!

211
00:11:06,921 --> 00:11:07,922
I never saw her drink.

212
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:10,133
Oh, you never saw her drink.

213
00:11:10,216 --> 00:11:11,718
I took her to Ambria, right?

214
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:14,429
Only the best restaurant in Chicago.

215
00:11:14,512 --> 00:11:17,098
Usually, it takes two weeks to
get in there, but they know me.

216
00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:19,934
Christ, it's gonna take a fucking
month to get back in there now.

217
00:11:20,018 --> 00:11:21,311
And she got drunk?

218
00:11:21,394 --> 00:11:23,104
Jay, she got hammered.

219
00:11:23,188 --> 00:11:26,357
Waiter. Hey, hey, hey! Another scotch.

220
00:11:26,441 --> 00:11:27,775
Pronto!

221
00:11:29,694 --> 00:11:30,987
I don't believe this.

222
00:11:31,070 --> 00:11:32,655
Yeah, well, believe it.

223
00:11:32,739 --> 00:11:35,241
This girl is nuts. First she's laughing.

224
00:11:38,745 --> 00:11:40,246
Then she's crying.

225
00:11:40,330 --> 00:11:42,916
There was my fish and
there was my kitty-cat

226
00:11:42,999 --> 00:11:44,709
and there was my dog.

227
00:11:44,792 --> 00:11:46,169
They're all dead.

228
00:11:46,252 --> 00:11:50,965
Then she's screaming like a
maniac at the top of her lungs.

229
00:11:57,388 --> 00:11:58,765
Check, please.

230
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,642
Maybe she was just nervous.

231
00:12:00,725 --> 00:12:03,686
In some bizarre circles,
you are a celebrity.

232
00:12:03,770 --> 00:12:05,897
First of all, she didn't
even know who I was.

233
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:07,899
What the fuck is that about?

234
00:12:07,982 --> 00:12:10,693
And second of all, she said
she drinks like this every night.

235
00:12:10,777 --> 00:12:12,070
I feel terrible.

236
00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,613
You should feel terrible.

237
00:12:13,696 --> 00:12:16,115
People recognized me, Jay.

238
00:12:16,908 --> 00:12:19,535
Jay, there were cameras.

239
00:12:27,085 --> 00:12:28,920
This is a nightmare. What can I do?

240
00:12:29,003 --> 00:12:30,296
Very little.

241
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:33,967
I mean, there is very little
you can do at this point.

242
00:12:36,052 --> 00:12:37,637
You got a girl coming over?

243
00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:38,972
At 6:30 in the morning?

244
00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:40,390
Yeah.

245
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:50,483
Holy shit! It's Sam.

246
00:12:50,942 --> 00:12:52,860
- What?
- What the hell is she doing here?

247
00:12:52,944 --> 00:12:53,945
Uh, one second.

248
00:12:54,028 --> 00:12:55,863
I have no idea, but if I were you,

249
00:12:55,947 --> 00:12:58,300
I'd call Cook County and have
them rush over with a straightjacket.

250
00:12:58,324 --> 00:12:59,867
What should I do?

251
00:12:59,951 --> 00:13:01,929
You know what? Let me
handle this. I want a word with...

252
00:13:01,953 --> 00:13:03,454
Shh! Shut up!

253
00:13:03,538 --> 00:13:04,622
I wanna talk to her.

254
00:13:04,706 --> 00:13:05,748
You know what? Closet.

255
00:13:05,832 --> 00:13:06,934
What? I'm not going in the closet.

256
00:13:06,958 --> 00:13:08,936
Max, I have a professional
relationship here, all right?

257
00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:09,961
Let me get rid of her.

258
00:13:10,044 --> 00:13:12,046
One second! I can't get in the closet.

259
00:13:12,130 --> 00:13:14,007
Max, get in the closet!

260
00:13:14,090 --> 00:13:16,092
Leave it open a crack.
I'm claustrophobic.

261
00:13:16,175 --> 00:13:19,554
Okay, okay. Uh, coming!

262
00:13:22,181 --> 00:13:23,308
Hi. Hi.

263
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,686
I know it's early,
but can I come in please?

264
00:13:27,312 --> 00:13:28,771
Sure. Yeah.

265
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:30,273
Thanks.

266
00:13:31,107 --> 00:13:32,984
Sam, are you okay?

267
00:13:33,568 --> 00:13:35,111
No, Jay, I'm not.

268
00:13:35,862 --> 00:13:38,239
I know we don't know
each other that well,

269
00:13:38,323 --> 00:13:40,992
but I thought we had a
mutual respect for each other.

270
00:13:41,075 --> 00:13:42,076
As did I.

271
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:43,619
So how could you do this to me?

272
00:13:44,203 --> 00:13:46,247
Sam, do you have a drinking problem?

273
00:13:46,664 --> 00:13:47,707
What?

274
00:13:47,790 --> 00:13:49,834
Max told me about last night.

275
00:13:50,293 --> 00:13:52,879
- Oh, he did.
- Yes, and it's okay.

276
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,922
What's "okay"?

277
00:13:55,006 --> 00:13:56,924
To be rude and crude?

278
00:13:57,008 --> 00:14:00,094
To act disgusting like that
in a public place?

279
00:14:00,178 --> 00:14:02,555
If you were drunk and
are willing to get help, it is.

280
00:14:03,014 --> 00:14:04,265
Not me!

281
00:14:05,058 --> 00:14:06,726
Your animal friend!

282
00:14:07,226 --> 00:14:08,561
Do you know where he took me?

283
00:14:08,644 --> 00:14:11,022
Uh, Ambria, I believe.

284
00:14:11,105 --> 00:14:13,983
Hardly. Try the Crazy Horse.

285
00:14:20,990 --> 00:14:23,242
- Cheyenne, what up?
- Hey!

286
00:14:24,577 --> 00:14:26,537
Hey! Hey! What up?

287
00:14:27,121 --> 00:14:28,956
What up? Hey, hey, hey!

288
00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,041
Hey.

289
00:14:31,042 --> 00:14:33,461
Hey, what... Come here!
Hey, good to see you.

290
00:14:33,544 --> 00:14:35,755
Oh, hello. How are you?

291
00:14:35,838 --> 00:14:38,257
Everyone, girls, I want you
to say hi to my friend, Sam.

292
00:14:38,341 --> 00:14:39,509
Sam, say hi to the girls.

293
00:14:39,592 --> 00:14:41,010
Hi.

294
00:14:41,677 --> 00:14:43,179
Say hi.

295
00:14:44,222 --> 00:14:46,974
Then finally, when the night was over,

296
00:14:47,809 --> 00:14:50,311
this guy, he actually
thought it had gone well.

297
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:52,271
Hi.

298
00:14:54,315 --> 00:14:56,692
You ever have sex in a Mercedes?

299
00:14:57,610 --> 00:14:59,028
Convertible?

300
00:14:59,112 --> 00:15:00,988
He said that?

301
00:15:01,072 --> 00:15:02,073
Twice.

302
00:15:02,156 --> 00:15:05,243
Did I mention this is a convertible?

303
00:15:05,326 --> 00:15:06,411
Huh?

304
00:15:07,662 --> 00:15:09,163
What a dick!

305
00:15:09,247 --> 00:15:11,624
I didn't say that!

306
00:15:11,707 --> 00:15:13,501
How could you believe her?

307
00:15:13,584 --> 00:15:14,824
What the hell is he doing here?

308
00:15:14,877 --> 00:15:16,587
What am I doing...
What are you doing here?

309
00:15:16,671 --> 00:15:20,466
Isn't there a liquor store you should
be knocking off right about now?

310
00:15:20,550 --> 00:15:21,926
How can you take her side?

311
00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:24,220
- I'm not taking any sides.
- I think you are.

312
00:15:24,303 --> 00:15:27,014
No, it's just that her story
sounds a little more like you

313
00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:28,766
than your story sounds like her.

314
00:15:28,850 --> 00:15:32,728
Really? You know her, what, two weeks?

315
00:15:32,812 --> 00:15:34,272
You know me your whole life.

316
00:15:34,355 --> 00:15:36,232
Since we're babies, you know me.

317
00:15:36,315 --> 00:15:38,401
I'm gonna take her to a strip club?

318
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:41,320
It's wonderful to see
that chivalry is not dead.

319
00:15:41,404 --> 00:15:44,282
Yeah? Fuck chivalry.
How about some loyalty?

320
00:15:44,365 --> 00:15:46,159
I don't know what is going on here.

321
00:15:46,242 --> 00:15:49,495
But something obviously
happened. Something bad.

322
00:15:49,579 --> 00:15:52,039
Why don't you just forget
about it and apologize?

323
00:15:52,123 --> 00:15:55,376
I guarantee you'll never have
to deal with the other one again.

324
00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:57,003
I'm not apologizing to her.

325
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,212
I'm not apologizing to him.

326
00:15:58,296 --> 00:16:01,257
Max, just apologize, okay?

327
00:16:01,674 --> 00:16:06,846
All right, because I am your
true friend, I will apologize, okay?

328
00:16:06,929 --> 00:16:09,140
Are you gonna apologize now? If you do.

329
00:16:09,223 --> 00:16:10,892
Fine. Then I am sorry.

330
00:16:10,975 --> 00:16:11,976
Fine. Then I am, too.

331
00:16:12,059 --> 00:16:14,437
Great. Okay? What? Anything else?

332
00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,230
You want us to shake?
Why don't we kiss?

333
00:16:16,314 --> 00:16:17,374
Okay, with or without tongue?

334
00:16:17,398 --> 00:16:18,816
Your call.

335
00:16:30,953 --> 00:16:33,956
Oh, man. You should've seen your face.

336
00:16:34,457 --> 00:16:35,958
Oh, my God.

337
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:38,294
I'm sorry, Jay. It was Maxie's idea.

338
00:16:39,295 --> 00:16:41,339
Wait, wait, wait, wait. "Maxie"?

339
00:16:41,422 --> 00:16:43,382
It's a pet name. I like it.

340
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:47,345
You know each other less than
24 hours. You have pet names?

341
00:16:47,428 --> 00:16:48,739
I told you he'd put me in the closet.

342
00:16:48,763 --> 00:16:50,014
It was unbelievable.

343
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:52,975
It was perfect. We
went home and changed.

344
00:16:53,726 --> 00:16:57,438
Wow, you guys really over
plotted this thing, didn't you?

345
00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:01,567
Ah! Oh! I thought I'd die.

346
00:17:01,651 --> 00:17:02,860
What happened? I don't get it.

347
00:17:02,944 --> 00:17:04,403
Well... You tell him.

348
00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:06,906
They were acting.
You know, role-playing?

349
00:17:06,989 --> 00:17:09,575
Oh, like when we do
that thing with the pigs...

350
00:17:09,659 --> 00:17:10,785
Exactly.

351
00:17:15,998 --> 00:17:17,375
I have to get some sleep.

352
00:17:17,458 --> 00:17:20,878
Oh, no. Come on. Let's go get breakfast.

353
00:17:20,962 --> 00:17:23,422
- No, I can't. I have to get some sleep.
- Come on.

354
00:17:24,131 --> 00:17:26,884
All right, I'll call you from the station.

355
00:17:26,968 --> 00:17:28,302
I'll watch your report.

356
00:17:28,386 --> 00:17:29,971
Yeah? I'll wave.

357
00:17:30,054 --> 00:17:31,305
I'll watch you wave.

358
00:17:31,389 --> 00:17:34,475
Okay, enough already. Okay?

359
00:17:36,310 --> 00:17:38,521
I'm meeting Linda tomorrow morning.

360
00:17:38,604 --> 00:17:39,730
Okay.

361
00:17:40,606 --> 00:17:41,774
I think.

362
00:17:41,857 --> 00:17:43,484
Bye. I gotta go.

363
00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:50,324
Bye.

364
00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:53,869
Bye.

365
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,665
I miss you.

366
00:17:59,959 --> 00:18:01,002
What?

367
00:18:01,085 --> 00:18:03,671
Hmm. So what did you kids talk about?

368
00:18:03,754 --> 00:18:05,339
To be honest, I don't even know.

369
00:18:05,423 --> 00:18:08,050
I mean, we have nothing in common.

370
00:18:08,134 --> 00:18:09,719
I mean, nothing.

371
00:18:09,802 --> 00:18:12,722
I mean, she hates sports. I hate books.

372
00:18:12,805 --> 00:18:14,932
She's lived all over the world.

373
00:18:15,016 --> 00:18:19,312
The only time I've been out of the
country is when the Cubs played in Tijuana.

374
00:18:19,395 --> 00:18:20,688
I think I love her.

375
00:18:20,771 --> 00:18:22,398
They were engaged two weeks later.

376
00:18:25,151 --> 00:18:27,570
Spontaneity is so romantic.

377
00:18:28,029 --> 00:18:29,113
Yeah, it is.

378
00:18:31,324 --> 00:18:33,075
Is she pregnant?

379
00:18:34,368 --> 00:18:36,412
I don't think so. Why?

380
00:18:38,247 --> 00:18:41,042
Hey! Hey, you know something?

381
00:18:41,125 --> 00:18:44,128
<i>It was that quick.
Jay and Sam got to work,</i>

382
00:18:45,671 --> 00:18:47,840
<i>and Max and Sam got to play.</i>

383
00:18:48,966 --> 00:18:52,428
<i>This was the girl for him
and he was going to stick to it.</i>

384
00:18:54,013 --> 00:18:56,057
<i>Suddenly, he's a one-woman man.</i>

385
00:18:57,058 --> 00:18:58,851
<i>He tells Dara.</i> You?

386
00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:00,019
You're getting married?

387
00:19:00,936 --> 00:19:02,063
Mmm-hmm.

388
00:19:02,938 --> 00:19:04,440
I give it a month.

389
00:19:04,940 --> 00:19:05,941
Okay.

390
00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,694
<i>Then he told the rest
of the girls in Chicago.</i>

391
00:19:08,778 --> 00:19:10,404
<i>What up, Chicago?</i>

392
00:19:10,488 --> 00:19:13,824
<i>Not a good day for the ball clubs
as the Cubs and the Sox both lose.</i>

393
00:19:13,908 --> 00:19:16,035
<i>But on a lighter note, I'm getting married.</i>

394
00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:19,664
<i>Oh, there she is.</i>

395
00:19:21,123 --> 00:19:22,667
Everyone who knew him was shocked,

396
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:25,002
but no one was more shocked than Jay.

397
00:19:25,086 --> 00:19:28,506
This is like a real, live documented
case of love at first sight.

398
00:19:28,589 --> 00:19:29,715
Don't you understand?

399
00:19:29,799 --> 00:19:32,718
I can't believe I'm having
him move in already.

400
00:19:32,802 --> 00:19:36,555
Well, the getting married thing
might have sped up that process.

401
00:19:36,639 --> 00:19:37,723
Do you think we're rushing?

402
00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,850
I don't know. It's not really my call.

403
00:19:40,393 --> 00:19:42,186
This is so not like me.

404
00:19:42,269 --> 00:19:44,605
Yeah, it seems nobody is themselves.

405
00:19:44,689 --> 00:19:45,981
My parents think I'm crazy.

406
00:19:46,065 --> 00:19:48,025
So does your cousin. Hi.

407
00:19:49,193 --> 00:19:51,362
Jay, this is my little cousin, Andrea.

408
00:19:51,445 --> 00:19:53,072
I like Dre.

409
00:19:53,948 --> 00:19:55,908
Listen, Jay, I know I'm
not supposed to ask this,

410
00:19:55,991 --> 00:19:58,828
but Sam's been raving
so much about your book,

411
00:19:58,911 --> 00:19:59,971
I was wondering if I could read it.

412
00:19:59,995 --> 00:20:01,706
I told you it's not finished.

413
00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:03,791
No, it's okay. I would
love to hear what you think.

414
00:20:04,083 --> 00:20:07,628
Thanks. I'm really into
stories about heartbreak.

415
00:20:08,212 --> 00:20:11,215
Good. You should get a
real kick out of this one then.

416
00:20:12,925 --> 00:20:13,968
Hi, honey!

417
00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:19,557
Hi!

418
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:22,143
Yeah. Traded in the Benz.

419
00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:25,688
Whoo-hoo. What up?

420
00:20:25,771 --> 00:20:27,481
First time living with a woman.

421
00:20:27,565 --> 00:20:29,817
A little nervous, yet excited.

422
00:20:31,193 --> 00:20:32,236
Think fast, Shakespeare.

423
00:20:34,196 --> 00:20:36,073
- Hey!
- Hi.

424
00:20:36,532 --> 00:20:37,992
Come here. Hi.

425
00:20:38,075 --> 00:20:39,118
Hi.

426
00:20:42,037 --> 00:20:44,182
Hey, Squirt, why don't you
give me a hand with my stuff?

427
00:20:44,206 --> 00:20:45,875
First of all, don't call me Squirt.

428
00:20:45,958 --> 00:20:47,477
And second of all, 'cause I don't want to.

429
00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,438
"'Cause I don't want to."
How long is she here for?

430
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:51,714
Till Labor Day. Get used to it.

431
00:20:51,797 --> 00:20:53,007
Uh-huh. Okay.

432
00:20:53,090 --> 00:20:54,341
See ya.

433
00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:00,097
Ooh. Where you going?

434
00:21:00,181 --> 00:21:02,683
- Movies.
- Don't have her home too late.

435
00:21:02,767 --> 00:21:04,101
It's 12:00 noon.

436
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:06,061
Bye, Jay!

437
00:21:06,145 --> 00:21:08,647
Hey, I'd like a goodbye, you brat.

438
00:21:09,857 --> 00:21:11,692
I'm in tight with the family, you know?

439
00:21:11,776 --> 00:21:13,444
Yeah, I can see that. Yeah.

440
00:21:13,527 --> 00:21:15,237
I can also see the U-Haul.

441
00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:18,908
But what I can't see are movers.

442
00:21:29,126 --> 00:21:30,503
What is that?

443
00:21:30,586 --> 00:21:32,588
John Madden, sportscaster.

444
00:21:33,631 --> 00:21:36,050
And why would someone
want him in their house?

445
00:21:36,133 --> 00:21:39,678
I couldn't answer that, but
where is the man who could?

446
00:21:40,054 --> 00:21:42,056
What, is he taking a nap already?

447
00:21:42,139 --> 00:21:43,265
No, he's on the phone.

448
00:21:43,349 --> 00:21:45,309
Then I'm taking a break.

449
00:21:45,726 --> 00:21:47,353
Here. I brought you a cold beer.

450
00:21:47,436 --> 00:21:48,687
Thanks.

451
00:21:52,274 --> 00:21:54,568
This is a great album.
Do you mind if I look at it?

452
00:21:54,652 --> 00:21:55,653
Sure, go ahead.

453
00:21:55,736 --> 00:21:56,838
I brought it back from Florence.

454
00:21:56,862 --> 00:21:57,863
I love Florence.

455
00:21:57,947 --> 00:21:59,824
I lived there. That's
where I wrote the book.

456
00:21:59,907 --> 00:22:03,118
Yeah, it was this shop with
this tiny little entrance,

457
00:22:03,202 --> 00:22:06,914
and you had to duck under
these giant horrific lion heads?

458
00:22:06,997 --> 00:22:08,958
- I know that place.
- Are you serious?

459
00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:10,751
I'm serious.

460
00:22:10,835 --> 00:22:12,711
The gelati place right across the street.

461
00:22:12,795 --> 00:22:15,047
Oh, my God, with the 10,000 flavors?

462
00:22:15,130 --> 00:22:17,007
It was the Baskin-Robbins of Italy.

463
00:22:17,091 --> 00:22:18,884
God, what the hell was that place called?

464
00:22:18,968 --> 00:22:21,220
It was like Al... ll...

465
00:22:21,303 --> 00:22:22,304
Al... Al... ll... ll...

466
00:22:22,388 --> 00:22:23,848
ll... Might have been ll.

467
00:22:23,931 --> 00:22:25,432
What are you guys doing?

468
00:22:25,516 --> 00:22:27,977
- Al Gelati.
- Al Gelati. Right!

469
00:22:28,060 --> 00:22:31,021
Right. God! Is that all it was called?

470
00:22:31,105 --> 00:22:33,941
I don't know. I think I had more
of a romantic recollection myself.

471
00:22:34,024 --> 00:22:36,277
Hey, I'm not gonna use this. You want it?

472
00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,736
Uh, no.

473
00:22:37,820 --> 00:22:38,821
The Bulls.

474
00:22:39,071 --> 00:22:40,739
No, that's all right. I got it.

475
00:22:42,700 --> 00:22:44,034
- Hey.
- Hey.

476
00:22:44,118 --> 00:22:45,178
We're just talking about Florence.

477
00:22:45,202 --> 00:22:46,412
Ah, Florence.

478
00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:47,496
You've been there?

479
00:22:47,580 --> 00:22:49,790
Uh, no, never. What's that?

480
00:22:50,040 --> 00:22:51,417
That's my family.

481
00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,669
Oh, yeah? Let me see.

482
00:22:53,752 --> 00:22:56,338
Hey, are these the 'rents?

483
00:22:56,422 --> 00:22:58,215
The what? Parents.

484
00:22:58,716 --> 00:23:00,217
That's my parents.

485
00:23:00,301 --> 00:23:02,136
Yeah. So...

486
00:23:02,219 --> 00:23:04,305
- You approve?
- I do. I do.

487
00:23:04,388 --> 00:23:07,892
Although I probably should've
seen these before I moved in.

488
00:23:07,975 --> 00:23:10,227
You know, check out the gene line.

489
00:23:10,769 --> 00:23:14,064
Oh, sorry. What is that, a
mole on your mother's face?

490
00:23:14,148 --> 00:23:15,858
That's not a mole. It's on the film.

491
00:23:15,941 --> 00:23:18,277
I'm kidding. They pass. They pass.

492
00:23:18,402 --> 00:23:20,613
Hey, Max, would you go to Italy with me?

493
00:23:21,071 --> 00:23:23,532
I'd go anywhere with you, baby.

494
00:23:23,616 --> 00:23:27,119
But just so you know, they got
great pizza right here in Chicago.

495
00:23:27,202 --> 00:23:28,203
Right, Jay?

496
00:23:28,287 --> 00:23:30,456
Oh, yeah, great pizza in Chicago.

497
00:23:33,292 --> 00:23:34,418
What?

498
00:23:37,671 --> 00:23:39,214
What about this one?

499
00:23:39,673 --> 00:23:40,716
No.

500
00:23:42,134 --> 00:23:44,178
That's nice. What about this one?

501
00:23:44,261 --> 00:23:45,387
Nope.

502
00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:50,100
Ah, that's so pretty.
What about this one?

503
00:23:50,184 --> 00:23:52,144
Mmm? Oh, oh, oh! No.

504
00:23:53,062 --> 00:23:55,898
Honey! We've been through
dozens of magazines,

505
00:23:55,981 --> 00:23:57,500
and you can't find anything that you like.

506
00:23:57,524 --> 00:24:00,069
I just want the perfect
dress for you, baby. That's all.

507
00:24:00,152 --> 00:24:01,946
I'm allowed to pick out my own gown.

508
00:24:02,029 --> 00:24:04,281
No, no... Whoa! Oh!

509
00:24:04,823 --> 00:24:08,160
Hold everything. No, you
won't, 'cause I think I found it.

510
00:24:08,243 --> 00:24:09,244
You found one?

511
00:24:09,328 --> 00:24:10,579
No, no, I found the one.

512
00:24:11,038 --> 00:24:13,040
- Are you ready?
- Yeah.

513
00:24:13,123 --> 00:24:14,124
Yeah.

514
00:24:14,208 --> 00:24:15,685
Max, this bride looks like she's dead.

515
00:24:15,709 --> 00:24:17,586
She's supposed to look
dead. It's heroin chic.

516
00:24:17,670 --> 00:24:18,879
It's the latest rage.

517
00:24:18,963 --> 00:24:21,191
Honey, I don't wanna look like
a dope addict at my wedding.

518
00:24:21,215 --> 00:24:24,093
I'm just talking about
the dress, not the corpse.

519
00:24:24,176 --> 00:24:25,678
- Let me see.
- What?

520
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,347
What kind of a pose is that?

521
00:24:28,430 --> 00:24:30,015
That's a guy.

522
00:24:30,099 --> 00:24:33,018
Oh, God. This is so, so ugly.

523
00:24:33,102 --> 00:24:35,229
Forty pounds and 16 years...

524
00:24:36,021 --> 00:24:37,606
- Let me see.
- No.

525
00:24:37,690 --> 00:24:40,109
- Let me see. Come on. Why?
- No.

526
00:24:40,192 --> 00:24:42,152
Because it will upset you.

527
00:24:42,236 --> 00:24:45,155
Max, I've seen the heroin
look. It's not gonna upset me.

528
00:24:45,239 --> 00:24:46,532
Please, let go of the magazine.

529
00:24:46,615 --> 00:24:47,616
- Yeah, yeah.
- Let go.

530
00:24:47,700 --> 00:24:49,576
What are you doing?
Let go of the magazine.

531
00:24:49,660 --> 00:24:50,744
No. Let go.

532
00:24:51,370 --> 00:24:52,847
- Give me the magazine.
- You're ripping it.

533
00:24:52,871 --> 00:24:53,932
- Just give me the magazine.
- You're ripping it.

534
00:24:53,956 --> 00:24:55,874
I don't care. Give it to me.

535
00:25:11,265 --> 00:25:12,891
What's the matter?

536
00:25:12,975 --> 00:25:14,977
That's his ex, Natasha.

537
00:25:15,728 --> 00:25:16,854
Shit.

538
00:25:20,733 --> 00:25:21,817
Jay!

539
00:25:23,485 --> 00:25:24,570
Jay!

540
00:25:29,324 --> 00:25:31,076
Jay, are you okay?

541
00:25:31,869 --> 00:25:32,953
Jay.

542
00:25:34,788 --> 00:25:37,041
She said she was gonna be a model.

543
00:25:38,584 --> 00:25:40,753
She's a fucking model, isn't she?

544
00:25:41,378 --> 00:25:44,465
Okay, okay, this is just
a temporary setback, okay?

545
00:25:44,548 --> 00:25:49,595
I mean, look at Sam and me. I mean,
the same thing is gonna happen to you.

546
00:25:49,678 --> 00:25:51,472
Any day now, when you least expect it,

547
00:25:51,555 --> 00:25:54,058
some incredible girl,
some beautiful woman,

548
00:25:54,141 --> 00:25:57,561
is gonna just come along and
blow Natasha right out of your mind.

549
00:25:57,644 --> 00:25:59,980
Like who? My cleaning lady, Gladys?

550
00:26:01,231 --> 00:26:03,067
I thought she left you.

551
00:26:04,610 --> 00:26:07,362
She did leave me, okay? All women do.

552
00:26:07,446 --> 00:26:09,114
Thank you for replaying that.

553
00:26:09,198 --> 00:26:12,451
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about that. Okay.

554
00:26:12,701 --> 00:26:14,804
Okay, not only will I get
you another cleaning lady...

555
00:26:14,828 --> 00:26:18,624
Listen to me. You are a successful writer.

556
00:26:18,707 --> 00:26:21,668
Any day, your confidence
is gonna come shooting back,

557
00:26:21,752 --> 00:26:23,980
and then you'll start letting
yourself be available again.

558
00:26:24,004 --> 00:26:25,798
I need to call her.

559
00:26:25,881 --> 00:26:27,091
No. No.

560
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,885
You need to forget her.

561
00:26:29,968 --> 00:26:33,597
What you need to do is remember
that she treated you like a piece shit.

562
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,681
Don't start with me.

563
00:26:34,765 --> 00:26:35,766
She did, okay?

564
00:26:35,849 --> 00:26:39,353
She was unsupportive. She was a
liar. Jay, she was a fucking whore.

565
00:26:39,436 --> 00:26:40,979
How many times did she cheat on you?

566
00:26:41,063 --> 00:26:44,983
Look, Max, you didn't know
her like I knew her, okay?

567
00:26:45,067 --> 00:26:47,528
So you can't possibly understand.

568
00:26:48,278 --> 00:26:52,032
Now I know in this little three-week
<i>Love Boat</i> episode of yours,

569
00:26:52,116 --> 00:26:54,618
you think you've come to
understand what love is.

570
00:26:54,701 --> 00:26:56,703
But you know what? I
don't know that you have.

571
00:26:56,787 --> 00:26:59,414
First of all, I resent that, okay?

572
00:26:59,498 --> 00:27:02,209
And second of all, if love,
if love takes my best friend

573
00:27:02,292 --> 00:27:05,003
and turns him into a miserable
piece of crap for a year,

574
00:27:05,087 --> 00:27:08,048
then you're right, I don't know
what it is and I don't want to.

575
00:27:11,635 --> 00:27:15,472
Okay, don't. Jay, what are
you doing? Don't call her, Jay!

576
00:27:16,265 --> 00:27:18,934
So Jay is just like this
really super sensitive guy?

577
00:27:19,017 --> 00:27:21,478
Oh, yeah. He was devastated by this girl.

578
00:27:21,562 --> 00:27:23,438
- That is so romantic.
- I know.

579
00:27:23,522 --> 00:27:24,690
Except she was a whore.

580
00:27:24,773 --> 00:27:25,959
Well, I don't know if I'd go that far.

581
00:27:25,983 --> 00:27:27,442
- Love had blinded him.
- Exactly.

582
00:27:27,526 --> 00:27:29,945
Except she was a whore. Right, Linda?

583
00:27:31,697 --> 00:27:33,740
Anyway, Jay was real depressed,

584
00:27:33,824 --> 00:27:37,786
and seeing Max and Sam together
made him feel even more alone.

585
00:27:37,870 --> 00:27:39,872
And obviously Max's
little pep talk didn't work,

586
00:27:39,955 --> 00:27:42,958
'cause he went home, drank some
whiskey, threw on an Air Supply CD

587
00:27:43,041 --> 00:27:46,587
and called Natasha's parents
for her number in Paris.

588
00:27:57,014 --> 00:27:58,140
Tash?

589
00:27:59,808 --> 00:28:01,226
<i>What do you want, Jay?</i>

590
00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:02,936
You speak French now?

591
00:28:03,020 --> 00:28:05,480
I do live in France.

592
00:28:06,732 --> 00:28:08,984
You've been there three months.

593
00:28:09,067 --> 00:28:10,819
<i>Jay, why are you calling me?</i>

594
00:28:10,903 --> 00:28:14,740
I just wanted to talk, you
know. I have a book deal.

595
00:28:17,701 --> 00:28:18,869
Is someone there?

596
00:28:18,952 --> 00:28:22,206
Yes, Jay. Actually, two other people.

597
00:28:22,289 --> 00:28:23,999
Don't you know? That's all us models do,

598
00:28:24,082 --> 00:28:26,460
is get coked up and have orgies.

599
00:28:53,528 --> 00:28:54,655
What?

600
00:28:54,863 --> 00:28:55,989
What, "What"?

601
00:28:56,073 --> 00:28:57,491
What's with the look?

602
00:28:57,574 --> 00:28:58,867
What look?

603
00:28:58,951 --> 00:29:03,372
You just gave me a look, like I did
something wrong by smiling at the girl.

604
00:29:03,789 --> 00:29:05,789
What girl? I didn't even
see you smiling at anyone.

605
00:29:05,832 --> 00:29:07,584
Come on. You saw me smile at the girl.

606
00:29:07,668 --> 00:29:10,128
What, I can't smile at a girl anymore?

607
00:29:10,212 --> 00:29:13,215
Hey, I don't give a shit
who you smile at, okay?

608
00:29:13,298 --> 00:29:14,299
What's your problem?

609
00:29:14,383 --> 00:29:15,384
I don't have a problem.

610
00:29:16,802 --> 00:29:18,679
I don't have a problem.

611
00:29:19,846 --> 00:29:20,847
What up, Tony?

612
00:29:20,931 --> 00:29:22,516
What up, Max?

613
00:29:25,018 --> 00:29:28,188
Were you ever attracted to other
women when you were with Hitler?

614
00:29:28,272 --> 00:29:29,856
I'm sorry. Natasha.

615
00:29:29,940 --> 00:29:31,024
Is that what this is about?

616
00:29:31,108 --> 00:29:34,695
Look, I've never done this relationship
thing before. You gotta help me out here.

617
00:29:34,778 --> 00:29:36,965
You said so last night. I don't
know what the fuck I'm doing.

618
00:29:36,989 --> 00:29:39,032
I don't know what I can
do and what I can't do.

619
00:29:39,116 --> 00:29:42,577
Max, laws of a civilized society still apply.

620
00:29:42,661 --> 00:29:44,705
It's fine to look as long as you don't act.

621
00:29:45,664 --> 00:29:46,748
So I can look?

622
00:29:46,832 --> 00:29:47,833
Yeah.

623
00:29:48,667 --> 00:29:50,919
I can look. I can smile.

624
00:29:51,003 --> 00:29:52,879
I just can't act, right?

625
00:29:56,883 --> 00:29:59,845
What about detailed fantasy-type shit?

626
00:30:03,682 --> 00:30:07,019
It's natural to be attracted to
other people physically. Everyone is.

627
00:30:07,811 --> 00:30:10,939
What are you saying? Sam
is attracted to other people?

628
00:30:11,023 --> 00:30:14,693
As great as you think you are,
yeah, I think she probably is.

629
00:30:16,278 --> 00:30:17,279
Who?

630
00:30:17,362 --> 00:30:18,613
Who what?

631
00:30:18,697 --> 00:30:20,282
Who is she attracted to?

632
00:30:21,616 --> 00:30:23,410
What? Hey, don't
leave me hanging here.

633
00:30:23,493 --> 00:30:25,704
Max, I got work to do. I'll call you later.

634
00:30:25,787 --> 00:30:26,872
Are you kidding me?

635
00:30:26,955 --> 00:30:28,832
Tell me, what... Hey. Hey!

636
00:30:29,666 --> 00:30:31,793
Hey, who's she attracted to?

637
00:30:35,339 --> 00:30:36,590
- Hi.
- Hey.

638
00:30:40,886 --> 00:30:42,471
You know, I know it's not my business,

639
00:30:42,554 --> 00:30:46,516
but I just wanted to make sure
that you were okay from yesterday.

640
00:30:47,184 --> 00:30:49,936
Oh, yeah, I'm a rock.

641
00:30:51,021 --> 00:30:52,397
Well, if you wanna talk...

642
00:30:54,483 --> 00:30:56,068
Have you just

643
00:30:56,985 --> 00:30:59,363
not been able to get
someone out of your head?

644
00:31:00,739 --> 00:31:02,866
I mean, you know it's over,

645
00:31:03,533 --> 00:31:06,078
but I walk around with
this pit in my stomach,

646
00:31:06,161 --> 00:31:08,288
and everyone tells me I'll get over it.

647
00:31:08,372 --> 00:31:09,873
All I'm asking is when.

648
00:31:11,958 --> 00:31:14,127
Jay, everyone has their own time.

649
00:31:15,420 --> 00:31:18,340
But you know what? I
can tell you, it does happen.

650
00:31:18,423 --> 00:31:20,759
I know it happens.
It happened in college.

651
00:31:20,842 --> 00:31:23,929
I broke up with my girlfriend,
Sarah. Two days later, I was fine.

652
00:31:24,012 --> 00:31:25,013
Did you love her?

653
00:31:25,097 --> 00:31:26,098
I don't know.

654
00:31:26,181 --> 00:31:27,891
I mean, we were stoned
most of the time.

655
00:31:27,974 --> 00:31:31,186
It's hard to tell how many emotions were
real and how many were manufactured

656
00:31:31,269 --> 00:31:33,897
just to get the other person
to bring over more pot.

657
00:31:39,861 --> 00:31:41,071
Samantha Andrews.

658
00:31:41,154 --> 00:31:42,155
Is Jay there?

659
00:31:42,239 --> 00:31:43,490
Who's calling?

660
00:31:43,573 --> 00:31:44,699
Jay, please.

661
00:31:45,784 --> 00:31:46,785
It's Max.

662
00:31:47,411 --> 00:31:48,412
Hello?

663
00:31:48,495 --> 00:31:49,996
Don't say my name. It's me.

664
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,081
I'm working here.

665
00:31:51,164 --> 00:31:54,167
Tonight at the Mill, 8:00. Okay? Be there.

666
00:32:33,290 --> 00:32:34,374
Uh, Mr. Abbitt.

667
00:32:34,458 --> 00:32:35,459
What up?

668
00:32:35,542 --> 00:32:39,379
My friend loves you on the
news. She thinks you are it.

669
00:32:39,463 --> 00:32:44,384
She asked me to come over and tell
you that she is willing to sleep with you.

670
00:32:44,468 --> 00:32:45,719
No strings attached.

671
00:32:45,802 --> 00:32:46,887
Is that right?

672
00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:48,138
Easy.

673
00:32:48,221 --> 00:32:49,222
Yeah.

674
00:32:57,856 --> 00:32:58,857
Hi.

675
00:32:58,940 --> 00:33:00,317
Very tempting,

676
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:02,861
but how are we gonna have
sex if you won't even talk to me?

677
00:33:03,236 --> 00:33:04,571
Did we ever talk?

678
00:33:04,946 --> 00:33:06,114
That's a good point.

679
00:33:06,198 --> 00:33:07,199
Mmm.

680
00:33:07,282 --> 00:33:10,285
I hear you went out with
our station's fair weatherman.

681
00:33:10,368 --> 00:33:12,579
I had to do something
to get your attention.

682
00:33:12,662 --> 00:33:15,957
Yeah, I don't know that dating Windy
Weathers is a real attention-grabber.

683
00:33:16,041 --> 00:33:17,143
By the way, I meant to ask you,

684
00:33:17,167 --> 00:33:19,461
does he go by Windy? Or Wind? Gust?

685
00:33:19,544 --> 00:33:22,547
Are you still going through
with this marriage thing?

686
00:33:22,631 --> 00:33:23,798
I am.

687
00:33:23,882 --> 00:33:25,800
And you're comfortable with this?

688
00:33:25,884 --> 00:33:28,845
Mmm-hmm, yeah. I'm very comfortable.

689
00:33:28,929 --> 00:33:29,930
How you doing?

690
00:33:32,682 --> 00:33:35,894
Well, my offer still stands, you know.

691
00:33:35,977 --> 00:33:36,978
No strings.

692
00:33:37,062 --> 00:33:38,104
Okay, be good.

693
00:33:38,188 --> 00:33:40,482
Hey. Hey, what up?

694
00:33:40,565 --> 00:33:41,983
- Hi, Jay.
- Hey,

695
00:33:42,067 --> 00:33:44,319
do you mind making this
offer to Jay, huh, for me?

696
00:33:44,402 --> 00:33:45,505
He's still very heartbroken.

697
00:33:45,529 --> 00:33:46,530
What offer?

698
00:33:47,614 --> 00:33:48,949
Bye, Jay.

699
00:33:49,199 --> 00:33:50,700
Oh, Max, you forgot this.

700
00:33:50,784 --> 00:33:54,246
Hmm? Oh, yeah, you
can hold on to that for me.

701
00:33:54,329 --> 00:33:56,081
- What offer?
- Hey, what up?

702
00:33:56,164 --> 00:33:57,350
- Hey, Max.
- Good to see you, man.

703
00:33:57,374 --> 00:33:58,375
Thanks.

704
00:33:59,251 --> 00:34:00,961
Max, what offer?

705
00:34:01,044 --> 00:34:02,295
She offered me sex. No strings.

706
00:34:02,379 --> 00:34:03,380
Yeah, right.

707
00:34:03,463 --> 00:34:04,464
I'm serious.

708
00:34:04,548 --> 00:34:06,007
She offered you sex, no strings?

709
00:34:06,091 --> 00:34:07,092
Uh-huh.

710
00:34:07,175 --> 00:34:11,179
My whole life, I've never had a
girl offer me sex with no strings.

711
00:34:11,972 --> 00:34:13,132
I get the offer all the time.

712
00:34:13,181 --> 00:34:15,308
Fuck you. Really?

713
00:34:15,392 --> 00:34:17,852
What, you want the offer?
I can get you the offer.

714
00:34:17,936 --> 00:34:20,397
What am I doing here? What's
with the obscene phone calls?

715
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:22,857
Stace, can we get two beers?

716
00:34:22,941 --> 00:34:25,068
All right, first things first.

717
00:34:25,151 --> 00:34:26,212
I didn't ask you this morning.

718
00:34:26,236 --> 00:34:27,487
I apologize. All right?

719
00:34:27,571 --> 00:34:30,574
I just didn't wanna hear all the
pathetic details before I had my coffee.

720
00:34:30,657 --> 00:34:31,717
Are you okay from yesterday?

721
00:34:31,741 --> 00:34:32,742
I'm fine.

722
00:34:32,826 --> 00:34:34,929
Good, 'cause I don't wanna talk
about you. I wanna talk about me.

723
00:34:34,953 --> 00:34:36,830
We spent a year on you
and your heartbreak.

724
00:34:36,913 --> 00:34:38,039
I need a night on me, Jay.

725
00:34:38,123 --> 00:34:39,541
I'm listening.

726
00:34:39,624 --> 00:34:40,917
Okay, I'm freaking out.

727
00:34:41,001 --> 00:34:42,002
About?

728
00:34:42,085 --> 00:34:43,396
What the fuck do you think about?

729
00:34:43,420 --> 00:34:44,879
This is all moving very fast.

730
00:34:44,963 --> 00:34:46,381
You wanted a shotgun wedding.

731
00:34:46,464 --> 00:34:49,050
Yeah, I was fine with it, okay, until...

732
00:34:49,134 --> 00:34:51,094
Until the incident last night.

733
00:34:51,553 --> 00:34:53,138
What incident?

734
00:34:53,221 --> 00:34:54,681
Okay, after you went home to mope...

735
00:34:54,764 --> 00:34:56,600
I thought we're not gonna talk about me.

736
00:34:56,683 --> 00:34:57,934
We're not, okay?

737
00:34:58,018 --> 00:35:00,520
But after you left yesterday to go mope,

738
00:35:00,604 --> 00:35:02,522
I hopped in the shower, I grabbed a beer,

739
00:35:02,606 --> 00:35:05,942
<i>and I sat on the couch for,
like, hours, mapping out my life.</i>

740
00:35:10,572 --> 00:35:12,073
<i>I started thinking about everything</i>

741
00:35:12,157 --> 00:35:14,159
<i>and how fast it was all happening,</i>

742
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:16,240
<i>and I started to freak out.</i>

743
00:35:21,249 --> 00:35:23,627
And then I heard Sam calling me.

744
00:35:24,336 --> 00:35:26,671
It wasn't like a yell
or a scream or anything,

745
00:35:26,755 --> 00:35:30,425
it was just this soft, angelic,
little kind of a whisper,

746
00:35:31,176 --> 00:35:33,428
<i>but it scared the fuck out of me.</i>

747
00:35:33,511 --> 00:35:34,971
<i>Max.</i>

748
00:35:36,222 --> 00:35:39,476
<i>So I go upstairs,
and I'm real nervous, okay?</i>

749
00:35:39,559 --> 00:35:42,145
<i>I don't know why I'm all clammy and shit.</i>

750
00:35:42,228 --> 00:35:44,915
<i>All these thoughts start flying through
my head, like, "What am I doing?"</i>

751
00:35:44,939 --> 00:35:47,567
<i>"Who am I? What is up with the Cubs?"</i>

752
00:35:48,777 --> 00:35:50,862
<i>So I get to the bedroom door,</i>

753
00:35:50,945 --> 00:35:53,365
<i>and I look inside, and Sam's there.</i>

754
00:35:53,448 --> 00:35:56,159
<i>She is so unbelievably beautiful.</i>

755
00:35:56,951 --> 00:35:59,954
<i>I mean, she's perfectly
framed in the window.</i>

756
00:36:00,038 --> 00:36:01,623
<i>You know, her hair is all rumpled.</i>

757
00:36:02,582 --> 00:36:04,334
<i>And I go over to her.</i>

758
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:09,756
<i>And I don't know whether I'd
like to jump her bones or flee.</i>

759
00:36:10,882 --> 00:36:12,092
When she attacks me.

760
00:36:15,261 --> 00:36:18,348
She, like, starts tearing at
my clothes, clawing my back,

761
00:36:18,431 --> 00:36:20,183
<i>throwing my shoes out the window.</i>

762
00:36:20,266 --> 00:36:22,227
She threw your shoes out the window?

763
00:36:23,812 --> 00:36:26,022
She did things to me I
didn't think were possible.

764
00:36:26,106 --> 00:36:29,234
We're not talking about
cable porn. This is pure rental.

765
00:36:29,317 --> 00:36:31,695
Okay, Max, I get the idea.

766
00:36:31,778 --> 00:36:35,365
Good. So after this sexual triathlon,

767
00:36:35,448 --> 00:36:37,033
we're laying in the sheets,

768
00:36:37,117 --> 00:36:41,162
<i>sweaty, panting, and it suddenly hit me.</i>

769
00:36:41,246 --> 00:36:46,042
<i>Max, this is the last woman
you're ever gonna sleep with,</i>

770
00:36:46,126 --> 00:36:49,129
<i>and you, my friend, are her last man.</i>

771
00:36:50,630 --> 00:36:54,134
That didn't hit you, maybe
before you gave her the ring?

772
00:36:54,926 --> 00:36:59,139
It didn't hit me. I mean, I
knew it, but it didn't hit me.

773
00:36:59,889 --> 00:37:02,892
Let me make sure I understand
what you're saying here.

774
00:37:02,976 --> 00:37:05,103
You're scared of never
sleeping with another woman.

775
00:37:05,186 --> 00:37:07,063
You're afraid you can't stop yourself.

776
00:37:07,147 --> 00:37:10,358
I'm not worried about me, you
moron. I'm worried about her.

777
00:37:10,442 --> 00:37:13,236
You're worried about Sam,
if she's gonna cheat on you?

778
00:37:13,319 --> 00:37:15,572
I'm not the one who went
to an all-girls Catholic school

779
00:37:15,655 --> 00:37:16,948
till I was 17.

780
00:37:17,031 --> 00:37:18,032
What?

781
00:37:18,116 --> 00:37:22,162
These Catholic schoolgirls have
so much pent-up sexual energy

782
00:37:22,245 --> 00:37:23,830
from being denied it as a youth,

783
00:37:23,913 --> 00:37:26,124
that one day, they just flip out,

784
00:37:26,207 --> 00:37:29,002
lose complete control of
themselves and their bodies.

785
00:37:29,085 --> 00:37:31,045
How do I know Sam isn't gonna freak out

786
00:37:31,129 --> 00:37:33,298
and go on a sexual rampage?

787
00:37:33,381 --> 00:37:35,800
Do you know some of these
countries she's lived in in Europe

788
00:37:35,884 --> 00:37:37,761
encourage that type of behavior?

789
00:37:39,596 --> 00:37:40,597
I said something funny.

790
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:41,681
Where's Sam?

791
00:37:41,765 --> 00:37:43,159
She's gonna come in here any minute

792
00:37:43,183 --> 00:37:45,143
and, you know, burst out with some story

793
00:37:45,226 --> 00:37:47,729
how you have a removable
penis or something, right?

794
00:37:47,979 --> 00:37:49,022
I'm not kidding around.

795
00:37:49,105 --> 00:37:50,815
Then you're an idiot, and I'm leaving.

796
00:37:50,899 --> 00:37:53,860
All right? I've gotta get some more
pages to your sex-crazed fiancée.

797
00:37:53,943 --> 00:37:56,863
Sit down. Sit down. I
haven't gotten to the point yet.

798
00:37:56,946 --> 00:37:58,406
Well, get to it already.

799
00:37:59,699 --> 00:38:01,075
I need a test.

800
00:38:01,284 --> 00:38:02,368
A test?

801
00:38:02,827 --> 00:38:05,163
To see if Sam will cheat on me.

802
00:38:08,917 --> 00:38:10,710
Jay. Come on, Jay. I'm serious.

803
00:38:10,794 --> 00:38:13,755
You work together, you're
friends, you're fairly good-looking.

804
00:38:13,838 --> 00:38:14,839
Goodbye.

805
00:38:14,923 --> 00:38:18,009
Come on. This is something a
guy can only ask his best friend.

806
00:38:18,092 --> 00:38:19,093
Well, I won't do it.

807
00:38:19,177 --> 00:38:21,280
Then I'll get somebody else.
I'd love for you to do it.

808
00:38:21,304 --> 00:38:25,266
But, hey, this is my future we're
talking about, okay? I gotta be sure.

809
00:38:25,850 --> 00:38:28,269
Max, are you really this insecure?

810
00:38:28,812 --> 00:38:29,896
Yes.

811
00:38:30,605 --> 00:38:32,190
Okay, for the sake of argument,

812
00:38:32,273 --> 00:38:34,567
even though I'm only
"fairly good-looking,"

813
00:38:34,651 --> 00:38:37,612
let's say I agree to this,
and then she goes for it.

814
00:38:37,695 --> 00:38:39,239
Then what? What do you think, genius?

815
00:38:39,322 --> 00:38:42,367
Then the wedding's off. She
failed the test. Very simple.

816
00:38:42,951 --> 00:38:43,952
Wow.

817
00:38:44,035 --> 00:38:46,246
What's "wow"? What is that?

818
00:38:46,329 --> 00:38:48,456
I'm not gonna sit at
home alone in a dark room

819
00:38:48,540 --> 00:38:50,500
listening to Barry Manilow records.

820
00:38:50,583 --> 00:38:53,628
Those were not records.
That was a radio special.

821
00:38:54,629 --> 00:38:55,755
Okay.

822
00:38:56,089 --> 00:38:57,924
Hey, I'll get over it.

823
00:38:58,716 --> 00:39:01,010
- Just like that?
- Just like that.

824
00:39:02,011 --> 00:39:04,055
I wish I had your heart.

825
00:39:04,722 --> 00:39:07,934
It would've saved me
a lot of miserable evenings.

826
00:39:09,769 --> 00:39:11,312
Jay, are you in?

827
00:39:11,396 --> 00:39:14,315
<i>Hold it, hold it.
Hold on, hold on everything.</i>

828
00:39:14,399 --> 00:39:16,192
Jay hit on her on Max's orders.

829
00:39:16,276 --> 00:39:17,516
Is that what you're telling me?

830
00:39:17,902 --> 00:39:19,380
You don't know Jay very well, do you?

831
00:39:19,404 --> 00:39:21,155
No. No, not well at all.

832
00:39:21,239 --> 00:39:22,240
What did he do?

833
00:39:22,657 --> 00:39:24,075
He got sick.

834
00:39:24,158 --> 00:39:27,579
Yeah. The whole scheme,
preposterous as it sounds, made him sick.

835
00:39:27,662 --> 00:39:29,414
So why didn't he just tell Max no?

836
00:39:29,497 --> 00:39:30,957
Oh, very good question.

837
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:33,418
Bravo. But obviously you
don't know Max that well either.

838
00:39:33,501 --> 00:39:34,502
No.

839
00:39:34,586 --> 00:39:37,213
The answer is, Jay knew Max
would find someone anyway.

840
00:39:37,297 --> 00:39:39,465
And he felt responsible for
anything that might happen

841
00:39:39,549 --> 00:39:40,925
being that he had set them up.

842
00:39:41,009 --> 00:39:42,010
So he got sick?

843
00:39:42,093 --> 00:39:43,595
He got sick.

844
00:39:44,220 --> 00:39:45,388
Couldn't eat.

845
00:39:47,682 --> 00:39:49,451
See, I'd force something
down, that's what I would do.

846
00:39:49,475 --> 00:39:50,602
I can see that.

847
00:39:51,060 --> 00:39:52,937
<i>He couldn't sleep.</i>

848
00:39:53,021 --> 00:39:55,064
<i>Tonight, a Jerry exclusive.</i>

849
00:39:55,148 --> 00:39:58,860
<i>It's friends who ask their
friends to hit on their girlfriends.</i>

850
00:40:03,114 --> 00:40:05,700
But the worst part is, he couldn't work.

851
00:40:06,826 --> 00:40:10,121
<i>'Cause every time he was
around Sam, he became nervous.</i>

852
00:40:13,207 --> 00:40:14,208
You okay?

853
00:40:14,292 --> 00:40:16,002
Yeah, I'm fine. Why?

854
00:40:16,085 --> 00:40:17,725
You've just been extremely jumpy all day.

855
00:40:17,795 --> 00:40:19,380
Oh, no, I haven't.

856
00:40:20,423 --> 00:40:21,758
Actually,

857
00:40:22,842 --> 00:40:24,010
you know what I'm thinking?

858
00:40:24,093 --> 00:40:25,094
What?

859
00:40:25,178 --> 00:40:28,348
Do you think we should
really meet as often as we do?

860
00:40:28,431 --> 00:40:31,100
My schedule only calls
for us to meet once a week.

861
00:40:31,184 --> 00:40:34,228
Yeah, but twice this week
though. Yesterday and today.

862
00:40:34,312 --> 00:40:35,748
I mean, you know, next thing you know,

863
00:40:35,772 --> 00:40:37,482
it'll turn into three times a week.

864
00:40:37,565 --> 00:40:39,901
I'm just thinking, with
this cooped-up office feel,

865
00:40:39,984 --> 00:40:41,277
is it really the way to go, Sam.

866
00:40:41,945 --> 00:40:44,322
You know, I almost feel
a shortage of air in here.

867
00:40:45,031 --> 00:40:46,157
How's your breathing?

868
00:40:46,741 --> 00:40:49,494
My breathing is fine.
What do you suggest?

869
00:40:49,577 --> 00:40:50,787
What I'm suggesting is,

870
00:40:50,870 --> 00:40:54,123
maybe we don't even need
to meet, you know, at all.

871
00:40:54,207 --> 00:40:57,585
We could work out of the
comfort of our respective spaces,

872
00:40:57,669 --> 00:40:59,420
your office, my home,

873
00:40:59,504 --> 00:41:01,381
and just keep in touch via phone and fax.

874
00:41:02,340 --> 00:41:03,466
What are you thinking?

875
00:41:03,549 --> 00:41:05,551
You're unhappy with my work.

876
00:41:05,635 --> 00:41:07,655
You don't like what I'm doing.
You think I'm hurting your book.

877
00:41:07,679 --> 00:41:08,680
Oh, God, no, Sam.

878
00:41:08,763 --> 00:41:10,532
I can ask Linda to remove
me. That's not a problem.

879
00:41:10,556 --> 00:41:12,034
No, Sam, I'm sorry.
If that makes you happy.

880
00:41:12,058 --> 00:41:13,393
That's not what I meant at all.

881
00:41:13,476 --> 00:41:15,853
The work you've done is amazing.

882
00:41:15,937 --> 00:41:17,689
It's made all the difference.

883
00:41:17,772 --> 00:41:18,856
Are you sure?

884
00:41:18,940 --> 00:41:19,941
I am positive.

885
00:41:20,024 --> 00:41:23,903
I am so sorry. I... We'll stay in the office.

886
00:41:23,987 --> 00:41:25,822
And you know what? We'll meet daily.

887
00:41:26,197 --> 00:41:28,157
Maybe even twice daily.

888
00:41:28,741 --> 00:41:31,035
As long as I'm not
interfering with your breathing.

889
00:41:31,661 --> 00:41:33,788
Trust me, it's not you.

890
00:41:40,044 --> 00:41:41,963
So let's focus on my eyes.

891
00:41:42,046 --> 00:41:43,047
Hey.

892
00:41:43,131 --> 00:41:45,049
Hey, what are you doing here?

893
00:41:50,013 --> 00:41:51,264
Hi, Jay.

894
00:41:51,347 --> 00:41:54,684
Um, could you... Could you
give us a second, please?

895
00:41:55,852 --> 00:41:57,103
- Sure.
- Thanks.

896
00:41:58,646 --> 00:42:01,065
So, uh, what up, buddy?

897
00:42:01,149 --> 00:42:03,109
Your test, okay. That's what's up, okay?

898
00:42:03,192 --> 00:42:04,792
It's killing me. It's affecting my work.

899
00:42:04,861 --> 00:42:06,070
Okay, calm down.

900
00:42:06,154 --> 00:42:09,198
I don't want you having one of
your little panic attacks in my office.

901
00:42:09,282 --> 00:42:11,367
Sit down. Sit down. What's up?

902
00:42:11,451 --> 00:42:13,286
Okay, I'm bailing on this test.

903
00:42:13,369 --> 00:42:15,014
You're gonna have to
call an escort service,

904
00:42:15,038 --> 00:42:16,831
or whatever your backup plan was,

905
00:42:16,914 --> 00:42:19,042
because I'm not cut out
for this, okay? That's it.

906
00:42:19,125 --> 00:42:22,170
Why don't you just
look at this as a situation

907
00:42:22,253 --> 00:42:25,048
that you can use in your writing.

908
00:42:25,131 --> 00:42:27,925
Max, every time you want me to
do something that I don't want to do,

909
00:42:28,009 --> 00:42:29,719
you tell me to use it in my writing.

910
00:42:29,802 --> 00:42:32,180
"Help me move into my house.
It'll be your next book."

911
00:42:32,263 --> 00:42:33,848
Change your tire, write a trilogy.

912
00:42:33,931 --> 00:42:34,932
You're right.

913
00:42:35,016 --> 00:42:38,936
I may have mentioned this before,
but this time, no bullshit, okay?

914
00:42:39,020 --> 00:42:43,066
This is your next book. I'm
practically writing it for you.

915
00:42:43,149 --> 00:42:44,960
All you have to do is come
up with some kind of title.

916
00:42:44,984 --> 00:42:45,985
Take all the credit.

917
00:42:46,069 --> 00:42:47,612
- Max.
- "Jay and the..."

918
00:42:47,695 --> 00:42:50,281
Max, have you been listening to me?

919
00:42:50,364 --> 00:42:52,366
Sam almost quit today.

920
00:42:52,450 --> 00:42:56,871
She thinks I'm uncomfortable around her now,
which I am, because of your stupid test.

921
00:42:56,954 --> 00:42:58,873
- She does?
- Yes!

922
00:42:58,956 --> 00:42:59,957
That's perfect.

923
00:43:00,041 --> 00:43:02,376
How is that perfect? This is my career!

924
00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:04,378
Yeah, right, I know.

925
00:43:04,462 --> 00:43:07,632
She must be thinking that she's starting
to remind you too much of Natasha.

926
00:43:07,715 --> 00:43:09,008
Excellent.

927
00:43:09,092 --> 00:43:11,260
Hammer that home, okay?

928
00:43:11,344 --> 00:43:15,014
Don't let up on it. Don't be afraid
to use it, to use the sympathy, okay?

929
00:43:15,098 --> 00:43:18,101
Keep bringing up Italy. Keep
your head down. Mope a little.

930
00:43:18,184 --> 00:43:19,769
Tell her that you can't eat.

931
00:43:19,852 --> 00:43:20,853
I can't eat.

932
00:43:20,937 --> 00:43:21,979
Then don't, okay?

933
00:43:22,063 --> 00:43:23,231
Oh, my God. I give up.

934
00:43:23,314 --> 00:43:26,275
What? No, no, no.
Jay Murphy is no quitter.

935
00:43:26,359 --> 00:43:28,402
What would your dad say? Huh, huh?

936
00:43:28,486 --> 00:43:33,032
Shit. Do you remember that
book you got me for my birthday?

937
00:43:33,116 --> 00:43:35,618
What's that title? The Roach?

938
00:43:35,701 --> 00:43:37,620
La Rochefoucauld. It's a classic.

939
00:43:37,703 --> 00:43:38,830
Yeah, La Roch...

940
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:43,126
Anyway, Sam found it.

941
00:43:43,209 --> 00:43:45,211
And? And she wants me to read it.

942
00:43:45,294 --> 00:43:47,755
I think she thinks we're running
out of things to talk about.

943
00:43:47,839 --> 00:43:49,048
So read it then.

944
00:43:49,132 --> 00:43:52,468
Read it? I can barely
lift it. Here's a little tip.

945
00:43:52,552 --> 00:43:54,887
When you're gonna get
literature for your close friends,

946
00:43:54,971 --> 00:43:56,681
books on tape, okay?

947
00:43:58,182 --> 00:43:59,618
What am I... I can't even talk about this.

948
00:43:59,642 --> 00:44:02,103
I'm on the air in five minutes. No blush.

949
00:44:02,854 --> 00:44:05,148
Well, as you can see,
Max wasn't giving up,

950
00:44:05,231 --> 00:44:07,071
and Jay just didn't have
the strength to fight.

951
00:44:07,150 --> 00:44:09,402
This nagging guilt
started coming over him

952
00:44:09,485 --> 00:44:12,947
as to why he had even set up
Sam with Max in the first place.

953
00:44:13,030 --> 00:44:14,448
Bottom line is,

954
00:44:15,283 --> 00:44:18,286
he decided he wasn't gonna do it.

955
00:44:19,078 --> 00:44:24,250
You know, he would keep
away from Sam, except at work,

956
00:44:24,333 --> 00:44:26,085
and tell Max that he had tried,

957
00:44:26,169 --> 00:44:27,670
and she had turned him down.

958
00:44:27,753 --> 00:44:31,132
Well, that's when I added
a little fuel to the fire.

959
00:44:31,340 --> 00:44:33,676
I'm pushing up your deadline six weeks.

960
00:44:33,759 --> 00:44:34,886
Six weeks!

961
00:44:34,969 --> 00:44:36,220
Is there an echo in here?

962
00:44:36,304 --> 00:44:37,344
Linda, it's crazy to rush.

963
00:44:37,388 --> 00:44:38,948
There's a rhythm to this process. Yeah!

964
00:44:39,015 --> 00:44:41,952
Well, speed up your rhythm. I want the two
of you together 24/7 for the next month.

965
00:44:41,976 --> 00:44:42,977
Get it done.

966
00:44:43,060 --> 00:44:45,563
Linda, look, I appreciate
all you've done for me,

967
00:44:45,646 --> 00:44:46,939
but I will not rush.

968
00:44:47,023 --> 00:44:49,525
I am standing firm on this. I won't budge.

969
00:44:49,609 --> 00:44:51,903
You don't budge, Jay, your
book gets shelved indefinitely.

970
00:44:51,986 --> 00:44:53,797
That means no one will
read it, not even your mother.

971
00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:55,924
We own it. We won't give you
the rights to distribute it to her.

972
00:44:55,948 --> 00:44:57,325
Got it? Get it? Good.

973
00:44:57,408 --> 00:44:58,784
Okay, I'm having my chest waxed.

974
00:44:58,868 --> 00:45:00,912
So, if there's nothing else,
see you both later.

975
00:45:00,995 --> 00:45:02,997
Cruel!

976
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:05,041
You're very, very cruel, Linda.

977
00:45:05,124 --> 00:45:06,417
How can you laugh?

978
00:45:06,500 --> 00:45:07,644
You were gonna scrap his book?

979
00:45:07,668 --> 00:45:10,046
Of course, I wasn't.
That was just my strategy.

980
00:45:10,129 --> 00:45:12,232
My feeling is, great minds
work better under pressure.

981
00:45:12,256 --> 00:45:15,051
And you know what? I think both of
them thought about it for a moment

982
00:45:15,134 --> 00:45:17,053
and really respected my decision.

983
00:45:17,136 --> 00:45:19,222
That chain-smoking bitch.

984
00:45:19,305 --> 00:45:21,682
There is no way we'll
finish this book in a month.

985
00:45:21,766 --> 00:45:23,351
Jay, we can do it.

986
00:45:23,434 --> 00:45:25,895
We can't do it. No one could do it.

987
00:45:25,978 --> 00:45:28,481
Okay, Stephen King
could do it, but no one else.

988
00:45:28,564 --> 00:45:30,483
Bobby, give me another one.

989
00:45:30,566 --> 00:45:34,403
Jay, try to relax. You
wrote an amazing first draft.

990
00:45:34,487 --> 00:45:35,655
How long did that take you?

991
00:45:35,738 --> 00:45:36,948
About seven weeks.

992
00:45:37,031 --> 00:45:38,032
So this'll be a snap.

993
00:45:38,115 --> 00:45:39,492
But that was different, Sam.

994
00:45:39,575 --> 00:45:42,745
That was easy then. I had
so many feelings to get out.

995
00:45:42,828 --> 00:45:45,248
I kept writing because I
thought if I got them on paper

996
00:45:45,331 --> 00:45:47,833
that maybe it would've been enough.

997
00:45:48,251 --> 00:45:49,418
To get her back?

998
00:45:49,502 --> 00:45:51,087
Yeah.

999
00:45:52,088 --> 00:45:55,424
Or to make a shitload of
money and stuff it in her face.

1000
00:45:57,343 --> 00:45:58,928
Sam, I can't work today.

1001
00:45:59,011 --> 00:46:01,180
Can we just get out of here, take a day,

1002
00:46:01,264 --> 00:46:04,267
run around the park, see a museum
or something, just clear our heads?

1003
00:46:04,350 --> 00:46:05,518
You got it.

1004
00:46:11,524 --> 00:46:13,317
<i>So they did. Despite my threats,</i>

1005
00:46:13,401 --> 00:46:15,903
<i>they went and cleared their heads.</i>

1006
00:46:18,489 --> 00:46:20,658
<i>And a day turned into a week.</i>

1007
00:46:23,744 --> 00:46:25,830
<i>And a week turned into two.</i>

1008
00:46:29,292 --> 00:46:31,252
So what's your most major fault?

1009
00:46:31,335 --> 00:46:32,920
I don't know. What's yours?

1010
00:46:33,004 --> 00:46:36,048
I'm not daring enough. I
always admired that about Max.

1011
00:46:36,132 --> 00:46:37,174
He'll do anything.

1012
00:46:37,258 --> 00:46:38,259
Like what?

1013
00:46:38,342 --> 00:46:40,177
Like public speaking.

1014
00:46:40,261 --> 00:46:43,597
I've always been afraid of
crowds ever since I was a kid.

1015
00:46:43,681 --> 00:46:46,559
You know, in class, when
everyone had to go around the room

1016
00:46:46,642 --> 00:46:48,644
and say their names, I used to freak out.

1017
00:46:48,728 --> 00:46:50,062
They'd go around in a circle

1018
00:46:50,146 --> 00:46:53,065
and by the time they got to
me, I'd be completely frozen.

1019
00:46:53,149 --> 00:46:54,692
Oh, that's so sad.

1020
00:46:55,318 --> 00:46:56,319
Well, it wasn't that bad.

1021
00:46:56,402 --> 00:46:58,529
It wasn't like I was the
Elephant Man or anything.

1022
00:46:58,612 --> 00:46:59,822
Oh, just a little nervous.

1023
00:46:59,905 --> 00:47:00,906
Yeah.

1024
00:47:01,282 --> 00:47:05,244
And I just always wanted to,
once, get up in front of a crowd

1025
00:47:05,328 --> 00:47:07,246
and say whatever's on my mind.

1026
00:47:07,330 --> 00:47:09,623
So do it. Get up in front of a crowd.

1027
00:47:09,707 --> 00:47:10,708
What, now?

1028
00:47:10,791 --> 00:47:12,335
Not now. On Sundays at the Mill.

1029
00:47:12,418 --> 00:47:14,670
There's an open talent night.
You can do it there.

1030
00:47:14,754 --> 00:47:16,088
But I don't have a talent.

1031
00:47:16,172 --> 00:47:18,549
You can just do whatever
you want. Say anything.

1032
00:47:18,632 --> 00:47:20,801
Are you talking like
stand-up comedy now?

1033
00:47:20,885 --> 00:47:22,178
Whatever. I'll go.

1034
00:47:22,261 --> 00:47:23,637
I'll laugh no matter what you say.

1035
00:47:23,721 --> 00:47:25,556
Hey, maybe I really could be funny.

1036
00:47:25,639 --> 00:47:28,184
Hey, maybe I'll really be laughing.

1037
00:47:30,770 --> 00:47:33,064
<i>You ever hate your ex-girlfriend so much</i>

1038
00:47:33,147 --> 00:47:34,940
<i>that you wish she was dead?</i>

1039
00:47:38,903 --> 00:47:40,154
<i>Anyone?</i>

1040
00:47:41,447 --> 00:47:42,490
No.

1041
00:47:44,241 --> 00:47:45,951
<i>You never have?</i> No.

1042
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,496
<i>That's a little hard to believe, okay?</i>

1043
00:47:50,039 --> 00:47:51,540
<i>Anyone else?</i>

1044
00:47:55,044 --> 00:47:56,045
<i>Hello?</i>

1045
00:47:56,128 --> 00:47:57,338
Hello!

1046
00:47:57,421 --> 00:47:59,965
How about something funny?

1047
00:48:00,049 --> 00:48:03,094
<i>You mean to tell me that
no single person in here</i>

1048
00:48:03,177 --> 00:48:04,529
<i>has ever hated their ex-girlfriend?</i>

1049
00:48:04,553 --> 00:48:07,014
No, you fucking jagoff.

1050
00:48:11,018 --> 00:48:12,019
I have.

1051
00:48:12,103 --> 00:48:13,104
<i>Thank you.</i>

1052
00:48:13,938 --> 00:48:15,481
<i>Me, too, okay?</i>

1053
00:48:15,564 --> 00:48:19,402
<i>And it's not that you're
a psycho or anything.</i>

1054
00:48:19,485 --> 00:48:22,196
<i>It's just that you really, really...</i>

1055
00:48:22,279 --> 00:48:25,282
<i>I mean, you really hate her guts.</i>

1056
00:48:26,367 --> 00:48:28,119
<i>Don't be afraid to hit that drum.</i>

1057
00:48:28,202 --> 00:48:30,788
<i>A little enthusiasm
never hurt anyone. Okay.</i>

1058
00:48:30,871 --> 00:48:34,041
Come on! I didn't come to
hear about your dead girlfriend.

1059
00:48:35,751 --> 00:48:37,270
I wish I had my video camera, 'cause...

1060
00:48:37,294 --> 00:48:39,046
Stop it. He's trying.

1061
00:48:39,130 --> 00:48:40,881
I'd submit it to Leno or something.

1062
00:48:41,257 --> 00:48:43,342
Folks, we came here to laugh, didn't we?

1063
00:48:43,426 --> 00:48:45,553
- Come on!
- Yeah.

1064
00:48:45,636 --> 00:48:48,681
I don't wish my girlfriend was
dead. I wish you were dead.

1065
00:48:48,764 --> 00:48:50,224
<i>Well, I guess my time is up.</i>

1066
00:48:50,307 --> 00:48:52,184
<i>They're giving me the light.</i>

1067
00:48:54,228 --> 00:48:55,396
Whoo. Whoo!

1068
00:48:56,272 --> 00:48:59,817
<i>Well, keep clapping because I
have even better news for you.</i>

1069
00:49:00,276 --> 00:49:02,069
<i>The beautiful girl sitting back there</i>

1070
00:49:02,153 --> 00:49:04,113
<i>with our favorite sportscaster</i>

1071
00:49:04,196 --> 00:49:06,198
<i>is buying drinks for everyone.</i>

1072
00:49:11,579 --> 00:49:13,164
That was exhilarating.

1073
00:49:13,247 --> 00:49:15,166
Yeah, yeah? 'Cause you sucked.

1074
00:49:15,249 --> 00:49:17,126
I had a couple of laughs.

1075
00:49:17,209 --> 00:49:19,253
There was one laugh, Jay. It was Sam.

1076
00:49:19,336 --> 00:49:21,005
I thought you were great.

1077
00:49:21,088 --> 00:49:22,923
It felt great. They had me pissed.

1078
00:49:23,007 --> 00:49:24,800
It was a rush, like sex.

1079
00:49:24,884 --> 00:49:26,051
You remember sex?

1080
00:49:26,135 --> 00:49:28,596
Vaguely. Sam, thanks for the drinks.

1081
00:49:28,679 --> 00:49:30,973
Yeah, yeah. This was
great, man. This was great.

1082
00:49:31,056 --> 00:49:34,351
You can keep doing your shitty
comedy, and we can go bankrupt.

1083
00:49:34,435 --> 00:49:37,480
Man, that was the stupidest
shit I ever heard in my life.

1084
00:49:37,563 --> 00:49:39,023
No autograph for you.

1085
00:49:39,106 --> 00:49:40,107
And you.

1086
00:49:40,191 --> 00:49:41,233
What up?

1087
00:49:41,317 --> 00:49:43,360
You suck in the news, man.

1088
00:50:04,131 --> 00:50:05,591
<i>Hello?</i> Hey, you sleeping?

1089
00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:08,302
<i>No, I'm on the 18th, putting.</i>

1090
00:50:08,385 --> 00:50:10,513
Sorry. Go back to sleep.

1091
00:50:10,596 --> 00:50:13,307
No, I'm serious. I'm on the 18th, putting.

1092
00:50:13,390 --> 00:50:15,226
If I make this, I win.

1093
00:50:16,310 --> 00:50:18,354
Shit, I lost. What's up?

1094
00:50:19,605 --> 00:50:22,107
I'm very concerned.

1095
00:50:22,566 --> 00:50:25,653
<i>Do you realize we're now down
to three weeks to our deadline?</i>

1096
00:50:25,736 --> 00:50:27,112
<i>Aren't you worried about this?</i>

1097
00:50:27,196 --> 00:50:29,323
Not really. The deadline will be met.

1098
00:50:29,406 --> 00:50:30,449
<i>How?</i>

1099
00:50:30,533 --> 00:50:33,661
Well, a certain someone has
been feeling so energetic lately

1100
00:50:33,744 --> 00:50:35,496
<i>that's he been up late nights working</i>

1101
00:50:35,579 --> 00:50:37,349
<i>and I've managed to get
a couple of pages done</i>

1102
00:50:37,373 --> 00:50:39,041
<i>based on the changes we discussed.</i>

1103
00:50:39,124 --> 00:50:41,377
Really? That's great.

1104
00:50:42,211 --> 00:50:43,212
When can I read it?

1105
00:50:43,295 --> 00:50:44,564
<i>Let's meet during the day tomorrow</i>

1106
00:50:44,588 --> 00:50:45,756
<i>just to go over a few things,</i>

1107
00:50:45,839 --> 00:50:47,943
<i>and then I'll bring the rest to
your house tomorrow night.</i>

1108
00:50:47,967 --> 00:50:49,260
Tell Max we'll all have dinner.

1109
00:50:49,343 --> 00:50:51,387
Oh, great. All right. Sure.

1110
00:50:51,804 --> 00:50:53,180
Sorry I called you so late.

1111
00:50:53,264 --> 00:50:55,099
All right, see you later.

1112
00:50:55,182 --> 00:50:56,725
Okay, good night.

1113
00:50:58,060 --> 00:51:00,271
You wanna have sex?

1114
00:51:00,646 --> 00:51:01,897
Do you?

1115
00:51:02,398 --> 00:51:03,857
Either way.

1116
00:51:18,581 --> 00:51:20,666
<i>Hello, you've reached
Samantha Andrews.</i>

1117
00:51:20,749 --> 00:51:22,334
<i>I'm away from my desk right now.</i>

1118
00:51:22,418 --> 00:51:23,836
<i>Please leave your name and number</i>

1119
00:51:23,919 --> 00:51:25,963
<i>and I'll call you back
just as soon as I can.</i>

1120
00:51:26,046 --> 00:51:27,256
<i>Thank you. Bye-bye.</i>

1121
00:51:28,674 --> 00:51:29,800
Hey, sweetie, it's me.

1122
00:51:29,883 --> 00:51:32,011
I'm so sorry. I gotta cancel dinner tonight.

1123
00:51:32,094 --> 00:51:34,054
I've got a dinner thing in Detroit.

1124
00:51:34,138 --> 00:51:37,516
Hey, hey! You! What up? Max Abbitt!

1125
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:39,643
Hey, what up? What up? What up!

1126
00:51:39,727 --> 00:51:41,162
I've gotta do a dinner thing tonight,

1127
00:51:41,186 --> 00:51:43,397
then I've got a thing on the
Sox tomorrow, Sox Tigers.

1128
00:51:43,480 --> 00:51:45,816
Just call me, okay? I love
you, all right? Just call me.

1129
00:51:45,899 --> 00:51:47,276
- What up?
- Jesus!

1130
00:51:58,704 --> 00:51:59,705
Hi.

1131
00:51:59,788 --> 00:52:01,081
Hi, where've you been?

1132
00:52:01,165 --> 00:52:02,958
There's a cab outside.
Where are you going?

1133
00:52:03,042 --> 00:52:05,210
Detroit. I gotta do a thing on the Sox.

1134
00:52:05,294 --> 00:52:07,921
Oh, were you planning on telling me?

1135
00:52:08,005 --> 00:52:10,299
Uh, as a matter of fact, I was.

1136
00:52:10,924 --> 00:52:13,135
I left you a message,
but I never got a call back.

1137
00:52:13,218 --> 00:52:16,096
Oh. Jay and I were working
out of the office today.

1138
00:52:16,180 --> 00:52:20,434
Oh, you guys have been
working out of the office a lot lately.

1139
00:52:20,517 --> 00:52:21,518
How's it going?

1140
00:52:21,602 --> 00:52:23,562
- It's going well.
- Yeah. Yeah?

1141
00:52:23,646 --> 00:52:25,564
Oh, he's such a great guy.
Don't you think?

1142
00:52:25,648 --> 00:52:26,649
Yeah.

1143
00:52:26,732 --> 00:52:29,485
He's so talented and sensitive.

1144
00:52:29,985 --> 00:52:34,156
Did you notice that? How talented
and yet how sensitive Jay is?

1145
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:35,616
What do you think about him?

1146
00:52:35,699 --> 00:52:36,784
As far as what?

1147
00:52:36,867 --> 00:52:38,661
He's not a bad-looking guy.

1148
00:52:39,203 --> 00:52:41,205
Oh, that's so sweet.

1149
00:52:41,288 --> 00:52:43,916
You're jealous that we've been
working together so much lately?

1150
00:52:43,999 --> 00:52:45,125
No. No, no.

1151
00:52:45,209 --> 00:52:47,044
I'm not jealous.

1152
00:52:47,127 --> 00:52:49,922
You're totally misinterpreting
the whole situation here.

1153
00:52:50,005 --> 00:52:53,801
I love that you guys spend so much
time together. You know what I mean?

1154
00:52:54,093 --> 00:52:55,761
No, I really don't.

1155
00:52:56,220 --> 00:52:59,348
I just wanted to know if you
think Jay is a good-looking guy.

1156
00:52:59,431 --> 00:53:01,141
Okay? It's no big deal.

1157
00:53:01,225 --> 00:53:03,185
Are you taking a survey?

1158
00:53:03,352 --> 00:53:06,021
No. I'm saying, I think he is.

1159
00:53:06,105 --> 00:53:08,482
I wanted to know what you think.

1160
00:53:09,191 --> 00:53:10,359
I'd say he is.

1161
00:53:10,442 --> 00:53:11,652
He is?

1162
00:53:12,236 --> 00:53:13,654
Where the hell is this going?

1163
00:53:13,737 --> 00:53:16,740
It's not going anywhere,
okay? Calm down.

1164
00:53:16,824 --> 00:53:19,201
I'm calm. You're weird.

1165
00:53:19,284 --> 00:53:21,954
I'm not weird. Okay? I'm not weird.

1166
00:53:23,664 --> 00:53:26,792
Okay, I'll call you when I land.

1167
00:53:26,875 --> 00:53:28,001
Okay?

1168
00:53:36,176 --> 00:53:37,261
Max.

1169
00:53:38,178 --> 00:53:39,179
Oh, hey.

1170
00:53:39,263 --> 00:53:41,807
What are you doing? I
thought we were having dinner.

1171
00:53:41,890 --> 00:53:44,184
Yeah, I... God, I was just gonna call you.

1172
00:53:44,268 --> 00:53:47,771
I gotta go to Detroit to do
a thing on the Sox. Listen.

1173
00:53:47,855 --> 00:53:52,401
I'm feeling like tonight is the night
to get the thing over with, okay?

1174
00:53:52,484 --> 00:53:55,195
Max, "the thing" is already over with.

1175
00:53:55,279 --> 00:53:57,906
Whatever. Listen, do
whatever you have to do tonight.

1176
00:53:57,990 --> 00:54:01,034
Okay? 'Cause tomorrow I have to know
that, yes, I'm going through with this,

1177
00:54:01,118 --> 00:54:03,996
and Sam is the woman I'm
spending the rest of my life with,

1178
00:54:04,079 --> 00:54:06,498
or, no, I'm on my own again.

1179
00:54:06,582 --> 00:54:09,168
Okay? Pick me up
tomorrow at the airport?

1180
00:54:09,251 --> 00:54:10,669
Why can't you ever take a cab?

1181
00:54:10,753 --> 00:54:12,087
Hello, I'm taking a cab now.

1182
00:54:12,171 --> 00:54:14,715
Pick me up. 5:00, United. Okay?

1183
00:54:15,466 --> 00:54:17,134
Oh, by the way,

1184
00:54:17,718 --> 00:54:18,802
I...

1185
00:54:19,511 --> 00:54:21,180
I put in a good word for you.

1186
00:54:21,889 --> 00:54:23,766
You what? Yeah.

1187
00:54:23,849 --> 00:54:26,894
I just wanted her to know
that you're a good-looking guy,

1188
00:54:26,977 --> 00:54:27,978
you know?

1189
00:54:28,061 --> 00:54:31,231
Sensitive and... All that other crap.

1190
00:54:32,274 --> 00:54:35,652
Max, I gotta be serious
with you for a second, okay?

1191
00:54:37,070 --> 00:54:39,281
You're real, real fucked up.

1192
00:54:39,364 --> 00:54:43,327
Why? 'Cause I wanna make you
out to be as tempting as possible?

1193
00:54:43,660 --> 00:54:45,496
Do you want her to go for me?

1194
00:54:45,579 --> 00:54:46,580
Is that what's happening?

1195
00:54:46,663 --> 00:54:48,123
Whoa.

1196
00:54:48,207 --> 00:54:49,792
Don't mistake my insecurities

1197
00:54:49,875 --> 00:54:51,227
for anything but what they are, all right?

1198
00:54:51,251 --> 00:54:53,754
I am totally prepared to marry Sam.

1199
00:54:57,716 --> 00:54:59,384
Okay, I'll be at the Detroit Marriott

1200
00:54:59,468 --> 00:55:01,011
if anything major goes down.

1201
00:55:01,094 --> 00:55:02,221
Okay?

1202
00:55:05,891 --> 00:55:07,184
What?

1203
00:55:07,267 --> 00:55:09,436
Don't you ever wear a jacket?

1204
00:55:13,106 --> 00:55:14,775
All right, let's go.

1205
00:55:18,070 --> 00:55:19,321
Come in. It's open.

1206
00:55:21,824 --> 00:55:22,908
Hey.

1207
00:55:23,617 --> 00:55:24,660
Hey.

1208
00:55:24,743 --> 00:55:26,161
What's up?

1209
00:55:26,578 --> 00:55:28,205
Fine. Nothing.

1210
00:55:29,456 --> 00:55:31,291
Listen, does Max have any psychological

1211
00:55:31,375 --> 00:55:34,753
or chemical imbalances that
you know about that I don't?

1212
00:55:34,837 --> 00:55:37,005
I don't know. Why? What's up?

1213
00:55:38,090 --> 00:55:39,758
What do you think of Max and I?

1214
00:55:39,842 --> 00:55:40,843
What do I think?

1215
00:55:40,926 --> 00:55:42,070
Do you think we're right for each other?

1216
00:55:42,094 --> 00:55:43,095
No, I don't.

1217
00:55:45,138 --> 00:55:46,473
I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

1218
00:55:49,101 --> 00:55:53,605
I mean, I was looking
for a little outside input.

1219
00:55:53,689 --> 00:55:55,399
I'm not really outside though.

1220
00:55:55,482 --> 00:55:56,817
I brought the new pages.

1221
00:55:59,945 --> 00:56:01,738
Oh, great. You finished it.

1222
00:56:02,531 --> 00:56:03,615
Wow.

1223
00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:06,910
Did... I'm real sorry to ask this,

1224
00:56:06,994 --> 00:56:09,246
but I don't feel like working.

1225
00:56:10,163 --> 00:56:11,874
Do you mind if we go out?

1226
00:56:11,957 --> 00:56:13,709
What do you wanna do?

1227
00:56:27,139 --> 00:56:30,350
Look at these freaks.
What kind of place is this?

1228
00:56:32,102 --> 00:56:33,145
Jay?

1229
00:56:33,228 --> 00:56:34,354
Yeah?

1230
00:56:35,230 --> 00:56:37,065
Did you ever say
anything to Max about me?

1231
00:56:37,149 --> 00:56:38,567
Like what?

1232
00:56:38,942 --> 00:56:41,153
Like you wanted to ask
me out or something?

1233
00:56:41,236 --> 00:56:43,071
Like I wanted to what?

1234
00:56:43,155 --> 00:56:44,907
Four shots, vodka.

1235
00:56:44,990 --> 00:56:47,200
We had a really strange
conversation earlier.

1236
00:56:47,284 --> 00:56:49,661
I think that Max thinks
that we should be together.

1237
00:56:49,745 --> 00:56:50,746
We are together.

1238
00:56:50,829 --> 00:56:52,164
No, what I mean is,

1239
00:56:52,247 --> 00:56:54,166
at the beginning he
used to tell me all the time

1240
00:56:54,249 --> 00:56:56,126
how sweet and beautiful I am,

1241
00:56:56,209 --> 00:56:59,004
and all of a sudden he's telling
me how sweet and beautiful you are.

1242
00:56:59,087 --> 00:57:01,340
Oh, that's just Max being a good friend.

1243
00:57:01,423 --> 00:57:04,217
Here, down a shot with me
and we'll go dance.

1244
00:57:07,471 --> 00:57:08,931
Ready? Yeah.

1245
00:57:34,665 --> 00:57:36,208
Wanna get a drink?

1246
00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:37,709
Yeah. Yeah.

1247
00:57:39,211 --> 00:57:40,545
Jay?

1248
00:57:43,757 --> 00:57:44,967
Natasha?

1249
00:57:48,053 --> 00:57:49,805
What are you doing in Chicago?

1250
00:57:49,888 --> 00:57:52,391
Actually, I go by Natasia now.

1251
00:57:52,474 --> 00:57:54,726
Whoa. You go by what?

1252
00:57:55,143 --> 00:57:56,144
Natasia.

1253
00:57:56,228 --> 00:57:58,063
With an I instead of an H.

1254
00:57:58,146 --> 00:58:00,023
And I'm here doing a spread for <i>Vogue.</i>

1255
00:58:00,357 --> 00:58:03,235
Oh, a spread. How appropriate.

1256
00:58:04,194 --> 00:58:05,737
This is Rudolpho.

1257
00:58:06,363 --> 00:58:08,573
Rudolpho? You're kidding, right?

1258
00:58:15,539 --> 00:58:17,207
I'm Claudette.

1259
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,420
You are? My fiancée, Claudette.

1260
00:58:21,503 --> 00:58:23,547
Pregnant fiancée, actually.

1261
00:58:23,630 --> 00:58:25,298
It's a nice rock, isn't it?

1262
00:58:25,465 --> 00:58:27,092
Congratulations.

1263
00:58:28,093 --> 00:58:30,178
Yeah, well, you know, my fiancée and I,

1264
00:58:30,262 --> 00:58:32,222
we're just gonna head
over and get a couple shots.

1265
00:58:32,305 --> 00:58:34,891
So, uh, maybe we'll catch you
guys later. Have a good one.

1266
00:58:34,975 --> 00:58:36,744
Nothing too strong. It's
not good for the baby.

1267
00:58:36,768 --> 00:58:38,061
Yeah, all right.

1268
00:58:41,398 --> 00:58:42,941
Four vodka shots.

1269
00:58:43,025 --> 00:58:44,151
Four.

1270
00:58:47,487 --> 00:58:48,947
Oh, hey. Oops. Hello!

1271
00:58:49,031 --> 00:58:50,949
Where're we going? It's almost midnight.

1272
00:58:51,033 --> 00:58:52,635
I've been able to tell time since I was 11,

1273
00:58:52,659 --> 00:58:53,827
but thank you.

1274
00:58:53,910 --> 00:58:55,287
Andrea. What?

1275
00:58:55,370 --> 00:58:57,122
Don't fall in love out there, okay?

1276
00:58:57,205 --> 00:58:58,915
It's nothing but heartbreak.

1277
00:58:58,999 --> 00:59:02,127
Little piece of advice
for ya. Enjoy yourself.

1278
00:59:02,627 --> 00:59:04,129
Thanks, Jay.

1279
00:59:06,631 --> 00:59:07,966
So, I think you survived.

1280
00:59:08,050 --> 00:59:10,218
Yeah, I'm still standing, I'm doing okay.

1281
00:59:10,302 --> 00:59:12,054
Now, I know it's hard to believe that

1282
00:59:12,137 --> 00:59:14,681
after that little scene back there,

1283
00:59:15,057 --> 00:59:17,100
but I've been doing okay lately.

1284
00:59:17,184 --> 00:59:18,185
I need to go lie down.

1285
00:59:18,268 --> 00:59:19,436
Why don't you go upstairs?

1286
00:59:19,519 --> 00:59:20,645
I'll just sleep on the sofa.

1287
00:59:20,729 --> 00:59:22,689
Are you sure? Okay. Yeah, no problem.

1288
00:59:26,610 --> 00:59:27,611
Jay?

1289
00:59:28,070 --> 00:59:29,196
Yeah?

1290
00:59:31,114 --> 00:59:32,657
That girl is not for you.

1291
00:59:33,950 --> 00:59:35,660
I know.

1292
00:59:35,744 --> 00:59:39,372
I just keep thinking, what if I
missed out on the girl who is?

1293
01:00:25,794 --> 01:00:26,920
Hey.

1294
01:00:27,003 --> 01:00:28,046
Hi.

1295
01:00:28,672 --> 01:00:30,215
How're you feeling?

1296
01:00:30,298 --> 01:00:32,384
Like 10 bucks.

1297
01:00:33,844 --> 01:00:34,886
I read it.

1298
01:00:35,178 --> 01:00:37,347
You did? What'd you think?

1299
01:00:38,557 --> 01:00:40,433
Well, there's 30 new pages.

1300
01:00:40,517 --> 01:00:43,770
Yeah, yeah. I was on
a roll. Is it too much?

1301
01:00:44,187 --> 01:00:48,150
No. It's not too much. It's beautiful.

1302
01:00:49,860 --> 01:00:52,654
It's just that, all of a sudden,

1303
01:00:53,071 --> 01:00:54,340
I can't believe how you can write

1304
01:00:54,364 --> 01:00:56,658
such eloquent things about her.

1305
01:00:56,741 --> 01:00:58,785
Yeah, it helps to have
an active imagination.

1306
01:00:58,869 --> 01:01:01,663
That way you can mold the
characters into whatever you want.

1307
01:01:01,997 --> 01:01:03,206
Yeah.

1308
01:01:11,756 --> 01:01:13,396
You know that I hadn't
dated for two years

1309
01:01:13,425 --> 01:01:15,302
before you introduced me to Max?

1310
01:01:16,219 --> 01:01:18,138
I didn't realize that, no.

1311
01:01:19,639 --> 01:01:21,933
My whole life had been my work.

1312
01:01:24,728 --> 01:01:27,230
I'd gone through a heartbreak as well,

1313
01:01:28,398 --> 01:01:30,442
but I now understand it was just my ego,

1314
01:01:30,525 --> 01:01:32,777
'cause looking back, I don't...

1315
01:01:32,861 --> 01:01:35,280
I don't think I really loved him.

1316
01:01:36,740 --> 01:01:39,993
But I cried when I realized
that he didn't love me.

1317
01:01:55,133 --> 01:01:58,428
So the $64,000-question is,

1318
01:01:58,511 --> 01:02:01,389
how do you know beforehand
that you're with the wrong person

1319
01:02:01,473 --> 01:02:03,892
so you can avoid
having them wreak havoc

1320
01:02:03,975 --> 01:02:06,311
on a large portion of your life?

1321
01:02:07,229 --> 01:02:10,690
I don't think you do know
until you meet the right person.

1322
01:02:12,567 --> 01:02:15,237
'Cause then you just... You just...

1323
01:02:15,779 --> 01:02:19,741
You just feel something that
you know you've never felt before.

1324
01:02:24,329 --> 01:02:25,872
Are those words for me, Jay?

1325
01:02:26,831 --> 01:02:29,417
Sam, no. You're
misinterpreting the whole thing.

1326
01:02:29,501 --> 01:02:30,627
Am I?

1327
01:02:32,170 --> 01:02:35,382
'Cause suddenly she just feels like me.

1328
01:02:38,468 --> 01:02:41,054
Wow, this is really awkward.

1329
01:02:43,056 --> 01:02:44,766
Yeah, I guess it is.

1330
01:02:46,309 --> 01:02:47,894
I'm gonna go.

1331
01:02:50,772 --> 01:02:51,982
I'm confused.

1332
01:02:52,065 --> 01:02:53,441
Well, so am I.

1333
01:02:53,817 --> 01:02:56,528
But I don't want to get
hurt again, Sam, okay?

1334
01:02:56,861 --> 01:03:00,532
And now you're marrying my
best friend, so this is pointless.

1335
01:03:13,503 --> 01:03:14,796
Whoa, sorry.

1336
01:03:14,879 --> 01:03:16,214
Andrea!

1337
01:03:18,717 --> 01:03:19,801
What a spot, huh?

1338
01:03:19,884 --> 01:03:22,137
To be in love with your
best friend's girlfriend.

1339
01:03:22,220 --> 01:03:23,680
Fiancée, Cliff.

1340
01:03:23,763 --> 01:03:24,889
That he set up!

1341
01:03:24,973 --> 01:03:26,391
Oh, Cliff.

1342
01:03:26,599 --> 01:03:28,143
What'd he do?

1343
01:03:28,226 --> 01:03:29,287
Have you been listening at all?

1344
01:03:29,311 --> 01:03:31,062
This is a very sensitive man.

1345
01:03:31,313 --> 01:03:32,522
Oh, he got sick again?

1346
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,317
<i>Yes, he got sick.</i>

1347
01:03:35,608 --> 01:03:36,818
<i>Again.</i>

1348
01:03:37,819 --> 01:03:39,070
Poor Jay.

1349
01:03:39,154 --> 01:03:40,196
It gets worse.

1350
01:03:40,280 --> 01:03:41,281
You're kidding me.

1351
01:03:44,784 --> 01:03:47,329
<i>What up!</i>

1352
01:03:49,456 --> 01:03:51,750
<i>What, you score, huh?
You get a little action?</i>

1353
01:03:51,833 --> 01:03:54,433
<i>I'm kidding. Forget the airport
ride tomorrow, all right? I got...</i>

1354
01:03:54,461 --> 01:03:58,048
<i>Jay, it's me. I hope your
fiancée isn't getting this.</i>

1355
01:03:58,131 --> 01:03:59,966
<i>I'm sorry about tonight.</i>

1356
01:04:00,050 --> 01:04:02,886
<i>If you get a chance, I'm
staying at the Ambassador Hotel.</i>

1357
01:04:02,969 --> 01:04:04,137
<i>Call me.</i>

1358
01:04:06,056 --> 01:04:09,392
Suddenly his head cleared.
Everything went blank.

1359
01:04:10,226 --> 01:04:11,311
He forgot about Max.

1360
01:04:12,312 --> 01:04:13,980
He forgot about Sam. Yeah.

1361
01:04:14,064 --> 01:04:16,144
He forgot about all the hurt
Natasha put him through.

1362
01:04:16,983 --> 01:04:19,361
And ran as fast as he could
to the Ambassador Hotel.

1363
01:04:27,160 --> 01:04:28,536
I still have it.

1364
01:04:29,079 --> 01:04:30,497
I've missed you.

1365
01:04:40,423 --> 01:04:43,134
You embarrassed me
with that girl tonight.

1366
01:04:43,218 --> 01:04:44,677
Well, it's over. Calm down.

1367
01:04:44,761 --> 01:04:46,179
It made me so crazy!

1368
01:04:46,262 --> 01:04:47,305
Calm down.

1369
01:04:47,389 --> 01:04:48,390
I don't want to be calm.

1370
01:04:50,225 --> 01:04:51,768
Hey, you just ripped my shirt.

1371
01:04:51,851 --> 01:04:54,521
Like that? Pull my hair!

1372
01:04:54,604 --> 01:04:57,273
What? I'm not gonna pull your hair.

1373
01:04:57,357 --> 01:04:58,358
Pull it!

1374
01:04:58,650 --> 01:05:00,860
Jay tried desperately
to grab onto whatever

1375
01:05:00,944 --> 01:05:02,946
had made him love
this girl in the first place.

1376
01:05:03,029 --> 01:05:04,239
Wahoo!

1377
01:05:04,322 --> 01:05:06,324
All he could think about was Sam.

1378
01:05:12,163 --> 01:05:15,125
What is it that you found remotely
interesting about this woman?

1379
01:05:20,088 --> 01:05:21,089
I don't know.

1380
01:05:21,172 --> 01:05:22,590
So tell her you don't want her.

1381
01:05:22,674 --> 01:05:24,426
Tell her you want me.

1382
01:05:24,717 --> 01:05:26,386
Nuh-uh-uh. Don't tell her that.

1383
01:05:26,469 --> 01:05:28,138
Sam's my girl, all right?

1384
01:05:28,221 --> 01:05:29,597
You stick with the Virgin Mary.

1385
01:05:29,681 --> 01:05:31,266
And remember, if you fuck it up again,

1386
01:05:31,349 --> 01:05:34,060
you're back to Italy
doing another romance novel.

1387
01:05:38,982 --> 01:05:41,234
Wait. Natasha, I can't do this.

1388
01:05:41,317 --> 01:05:42,318
Where're you going?

1389
01:05:42,402 --> 01:05:44,446
I had a really great time but I have to go.

1390
01:05:44,529 --> 01:05:47,449
Don't you walk out on me,
you fucking faggot!

1391
01:05:53,788 --> 01:05:56,666
Thank you for that. It was
a memorable last image.

1392
01:05:58,251 --> 01:05:59,294
Huh?

1393
01:06:04,716 --> 01:06:07,218
Now he knew deep in his
heart that he really loved Sam,

1394
01:06:07,844 --> 01:06:10,013
but he really had betrayed Max.

1395
01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:11,514
Well, he felt so guilty about it

1396
01:06:11,598 --> 01:06:13,725
he decided to call Max and confess.

1397
01:06:15,268 --> 01:06:16,269
What up?

1398
01:06:16,352 --> 01:06:18,062
Yeah, you up? I need to talk.

1399
01:06:18,271 --> 01:06:20,064
Oh, Jay. What up?

1400
01:06:20,148 --> 01:06:21,149
What up?

1401
01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:23,151
Hey, you're up? Come on in!

1402
01:06:23,234 --> 01:06:24,235
Shut up!

1403
01:06:24,652 --> 01:06:26,112
Who is that? Who is that?

1404
01:06:26,196 --> 01:06:28,573
It's the maid. What up?

1405
01:06:28,656 --> 01:06:29,949
At 6:00 a.m.?

1406
01:06:30,033 --> 01:06:32,035
Yeah. I am not the maid, Max.

1407
01:06:32,118 --> 01:06:34,454
I'm here because you
want me to be here.

1408
01:06:34,537 --> 01:06:35,955
Would you shut the fuck up?

1409
01:06:36,039 --> 01:06:37,040
Who is that?

1410
01:06:37,123 --> 01:06:39,083
What's up? You shut the fuck up.

1411
01:06:39,167 --> 01:06:42,086
You shut the fuck up! Jay?

1412
01:06:42,170 --> 01:06:43,671
Wait. That's Dara, isn't it?

1413
01:06:43,755 --> 01:06:44,756
Jay?

1414
01:06:44,839 --> 01:06:47,342
You know what? You're a dick, all right?

1415
01:06:48,593 --> 01:06:50,470
Fucking ass. Fuck you, man.

1416
01:06:50,553 --> 01:06:53,515
Oh, fuck. God. Fuck!

1417
01:06:53,598 --> 01:06:54,933
Can't you shut the fuck up?

1418
01:06:55,016 --> 01:06:57,036
You know what? There's no
more fucking hot water, anyway.

1419
01:06:57,060 --> 01:06:59,187
Fuck you! Fuck the... Fuck up!

1420
01:07:03,191 --> 01:07:04,192
So Max cheated on Sam?

1421
01:07:04,275 --> 01:07:05,276
Mmm.

1422
01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:06,486
Look at his eyes.

1423
01:07:07,362 --> 01:07:09,197
You can tell he's a cheat.

1424
01:07:09,280 --> 01:07:13,660
Well, it was exactly what Jay
needed because now he felt betrayed.

1425
01:07:13,743 --> 01:07:17,163
But, more importantly, he felt the
woman he loved had been betrayed.

1426
01:07:17,247 --> 01:07:20,625
Now, all loyalties were off.
He had to go to her.

1427
01:07:27,423 --> 01:07:30,510
Jay? Are you okay?

1428
01:07:30,593 --> 01:07:32,428
Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.

1429
01:07:32,512 --> 01:07:34,055
You look like shit.

1430
01:07:34,138 --> 01:07:35,974
Yeah, yeah. I'm aware of that.

1431
01:07:37,559 --> 01:07:38,768
Do you want to come in?

1432
01:07:38,851 --> 01:07:40,645
Oh, no, thanks. I'm fine.

1433
01:07:40,728 --> 01:07:44,399
I was just, you know, walking
by, getting a little jog in.

1434
01:07:44,482 --> 01:07:48,069
You know, that morning walk/jog thing.

1435
01:07:48,861 --> 01:07:50,071
In slacks?

1436
01:07:50,154 --> 01:07:51,906
Yeah, in slacks.

1437
01:07:53,449 --> 01:07:56,327
I'll see you later. I'm gonna...

1438
01:08:02,125 --> 01:08:05,878
"Never, ever rat on your friends."

1439
01:08:07,130 --> 01:08:08,131
That's <i>Goodfellas.</i>

1440
01:08:08,214 --> 01:08:09,924
Oh, that was great, honey.

1441
01:08:10,008 --> 01:08:11,009
Thank you, sweetie.

1442
01:08:11,092 --> 01:08:13,386
Well, he didn't. <i>Goodfellas</i> or not.

1443
01:08:13,469 --> 01:08:17,181
Max and Sam's relationship would have
to run its course without his interference.

1444
01:08:17,265 --> 01:08:18,850
He decided to stay away.

1445
01:08:22,812 --> 01:08:24,147
Jay! Open up.

1446
01:08:26,983 --> 01:08:28,526
Open up. It's me.

1447
01:08:31,821 --> 01:08:33,323
Jay! Go away.

1448
01:08:33,531 --> 01:08:35,491
Just open the door, okay?

1449
01:08:38,244 --> 01:08:40,079
Jay, I'm not kidding.
I'm gonna kick it down.

1450
01:08:40,163 --> 01:08:41,706
Go for it. It's solid oak.

1451
01:08:45,126 --> 01:08:49,213
I could hear that pouty little
fucking voice of yours this morning.

1452
01:08:49,297 --> 01:08:51,090
"How could you, Max? How could you?"

1453
01:08:51,174 --> 01:08:54,469
Well, you know what? This has
nothing to do with you, all right?

1454
01:08:54,552 --> 01:08:56,238
What, you think 'cause
you set me up with her

1455
01:08:56,262 --> 01:08:58,931
you have a stake in
our relationship forever?

1456
01:08:59,015 --> 01:09:01,809
Well, I'm telling you, fuck you, you don't!

1457
01:09:02,226 --> 01:09:04,270
Why am I apologizing to you anyway?

1458
01:09:04,354 --> 01:09:05,688
I don't know. I don't either.

1459
01:09:05,772 --> 01:09:06,898
I don't owe you anything.

1460
01:09:06,981 --> 01:09:08,959
I didn't even know Dara
was going to be there, okay?

1461
01:09:08,983 --> 01:09:10,193
You gotta believe me here.

1462
01:09:10,276 --> 01:09:13,655
I mean, she must have found
out somehow, called... I don't know.

1463
01:09:13,738 --> 01:09:15,990
She's tracked me down
like an animal. Stalked...

1464
01:09:16,074 --> 01:09:18,284
It's a stalking is what it is.

1465
01:09:18,368 --> 01:09:20,536
Um, I've called the police.

1466
01:09:25,166 --> 01:09:28,044
Okay. I had to... I had to
get it out of my system, Jay.

1467
01:09:28,127 --> 01:09:30,380
I had to. One last time.

1468
01:09:30,797 --> 01:09:32,632
And you think it's out?

1469
01:09:37,220 --> 01:09:38,680
Do you think it's out?

1470
01:09:40,056 --> 01:09:41,641
I don't know.

1471
01:09:57,407 --> 01:09:59,158
In the middle of the day?

1472
01:09:59,242 --> 01:10:00,451
Why are you drinking so much?

1473
01:10:01,035 --> 01:10:02,453
I was depressed.

1474
01:10:02,537 --> 01:10:03,663
What, over this?

1475
01:10:03,746 --> 01:10:06,624
I have depressions that
don't relate to you at all, okay?

1476
01:10:07,625 --> 01:10:10,753
Look... Okay, I thought
I could handle this.

1477
01:10:10,837 --> 01:10:13,297
Okay? I thought I was ready
for this. Maybe I'm not, okay?

1478
01:10:13,381 --> 01:10:14,507
I mean, I never...

1479
01:10:14,590 --> 01:10:16,884
I've never had to be
loyal to just one woman.

1480
01:10:16,968 --> 01:10:18,928
I don't know if I can be.

1481
01:10:19,220 --> 01:10:21,848
Well, maybe she can't
be loyal to you either.

1482
01:10:26,227 --> 01:10:27,854
What the fuck does that mean?

1483
01:10:27,937 --> 01:10:29,248
Nothing. It doesn't mean anything.

1484
01:10:29,272 --> 01:10:31,149
Oh, it meant something.

1485
01:10:32,108 --> 01:10:33,443
What are you saying?

1486
01:10:33,526 --> 01:10:36,028
You're a sick, deranged freak.

1487
01:10:38,072 --> 01:10:41,659
How could you ask me to try
and sleep with your fiancée?

1488
01:10:42,243 --> 01:10:43,244
No, no.

1489
01:10:44,287 --> 01:10:47,039
I didn't ask you to sleep with my fiancée.

1490
01:10:47,832 --> 01:10:50,668
I asked you to find out if
she would sleep with you.

1491
01:10:50,793 --> 01:10:52,771
And what are you telling me
now? What are you saying?

1492
01:10:52,795 --> 01:10:53,921
That you did?

1493
01:10:54,046 --> 01:10:55,047
Get out.

1494
01:10:55,131 --> 01:10:56,966
Did you fuck my fiancée?

1495
01:10:57,049 --> 01:10:58,718
Of course I didn't.

1496
01:11:02,180 --> 01:11:03,306
Do you think you could have?

1497
01:11:06,851 --> 01:11:09,061
I think maybe there was
a connection between us.

1498
01:11:09,145 --> 01:11:10,563
You think?

1499
01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:13,149
I had a real strong feeling.

1500
01:11:13,232 --> 01:11:15,294
Join a support group for
your fucking feelings, okay?

1501
01:11:15,318 --> 01:11:17,111
I want an answer. What happened?

1502
01:11:17,195 --> 01:11:19,238
Max, nothing happened.

1503
01:11:19,655 --> 01:11:21,115
Okay?

1504
01:11:21,199 --> 01:11:23,201
Why don't you just call off the wedding?

1505
01:11:23,868 --> 01:11:26,329
You don't love her, do you?

1506
01:11:26,412 --> 01:11:28,164
Just let it go.

1507
01:11:28,247 --> 01:11:31,709
You're telling me my fiancée
wants to fuck my best friend,

1508
01:11:32,251 --> 01:11:34,629
and you want me to just let that go?

1509
01:11:35,254 --> 01:11:36,964
She wants to cheat on me?

1510
01:11:38,132 --> 01:11:41,928
You're cheating on her,
okay? You egomaniac!

1511
01:11:42,637 --> 01:11:44,138
Why do you want to marry her?

1512
01:11:44,222 --> 01:11:46,098
What do you mean? She's perfect.

1513
01:11:46,182 --> 01:11:48,851
You know that. She's
everything I ever pictured in a wife.

1514
01:11:48,935 --> 01:11:52,104
She's hot, she's smart,
she hates fucking cats.

1515
01:11:52,188 --> 01:11:54,190
Max, do you love her?

1516
01:11:54,357 --> 01:11:56,317
Yeah. Yeah.

1517
01:12:00,822 --> 01:12:02,240
I don't know.

1518
01:12:07,578 --> 01:12:09,705
The way you talk about love,

1519
01:12:10,081 --> 01:12:12,241
I don't know if I'm capable
of loving anyone like that.

1520
01:12:12,291 --> 01:12:14,377
But if I am, it's her.

1521
01:12:14,460 --> 01:12:16,379
But that's not fair to Sam, okay?

1522
01:12:16,462 --> 01:12:17,713
"Fair"?

1523
01:12:18,005 --> 01:12:20,091
You're telling me the
woman I want to marry

1524
01:12:20,174 --> 01:12:22,218
is thinking of fucking my best friend.

1525
01:12:22,301 --> 01:12:23,636
"Fair"? Fuck fucking "fair."

1526
01:12:23,719 --> 01:12:26,347
Fuck you. Fuck her.
Fuck everybody. "Fair."

1527
01:12:26,430 --> 01:12:28,808
That's it. We're going over
there. You're coming with me.

1528
01:12:28,891 --> 01:12:30,811
We're gonna go and
confront her about this, okay?

1529
01:12:30,852 --> 01:12:32,538
We're gonna find out
what's really going on.

1530
01:12:32,562 --> 01:12:34,522
You wanna take this here? Fine.

1531
01:12:34,605 --> 01:12:37,149
But you better be prepared
to deal with whatever happens,

1532
01:12:37,233 --> 01:12:38,234
because I am.

1533
01:12:38,317 --> 01:12:39,819
Okay.

1534
01:12:43,322 --> 01:12:45,116
I told you to put the bottle away.

1535
01:12:45,199 --> 01:12:49,078
I don't want you blurting something
out until I feel the moment is right, okay?

1536
01:12:49,161 --> 01:12:51,497
Ooh, what is this, a sting operation?

1537
01:12:51,581 --> 01:12:53,916
To a certain degree,
yes, it is, Jay. Yes, it is.

1538
01:12:54,000 --> 01:12:55,877
Chances are you just misinterpreted

1539
01:12:55,960 --> 01:12:57,628
something she did, something stupid.

1540
01:12:57,712 --> 01:13:00,715
But if you're right, I want to
get her when her guard is down.

1541
01:13:00,798 --> 01:13:02,508
I need her completely... Jesus.

1542
01:13:02,592 --> 01:13:04,468
Oh. Ooh. Hi. Oh, my God.

1543
01:13:07,096 --> 01:13:09,098
I thought I heard some voices.

1544
01:13:09,181 --> 01:13:11,225
Hi. Where've you been all day?

1545
01:13:11,309 --> 01:13:13,227
I've been at home.

1546
01:13:14,395 --> 01:13:16,397
What's wrong? You look awful.

1547
01:13:16,480 --> 01:13:18,316
Oh, I've been drinking.

1548
01:13:19,901 --> 01:13:21,110
Hi, honey. I'm home.

1549
01:13:21,235 --> 01:13:22,236
Hi, Max!

1550
01:13:22,361 --> 01:13:23,446
Hi. Hi.

1551
01:13:24,030 --> 01:13:25,531
Linda read the new stuff today.

1552
01:13:25,615 --> 01:13:28,367
She absolutely loved it.

1553
01:13:28,534 --> 01:13:29,535
Good.

1554
01:13:29,619 --> 01:13:30,661
Aren't you happy?

1555
01:13:30,745 --> 01:13:32,705
This is great news.

1556
01:13:32,788 --> 01:13:33,789
Is it?

1557
01:13:35,166 --> 01:13:37,752
Well, we should celebrate
this great news.

1558
01:13:37,835 --> 01:13:40,212
Why don't we make some great pasta,

1559
01:13:40,296 --> 01:13:41,416
open a great bottle of wine.

1560
01:13:41,464 --> 01:13:44,467
I'm thinking Jay's great garlic bread.

1561
01:13:44,550 --> 01:13:46,135
I'm not hungry, okay?

1562
01:13:46,218 --> 01:13:49,472
Surely you don't want
to deny Sam the pleasure

1563
01:13:49,555 --> 01:13:51,307
of your garlic bread?

1564
01:14:22,380 --> 01:14:24,882
So, what'd you guys do last night?

1565
01:14:25,007 --> 01:14:28,678
Oh, we just went out,
had a couple of drinks.

1566
01:14:28,761 --> 01:14:31,013
Yeah? Where'd you go?

1567
01:14:33,849 --> 01:14:37,061
This place called, um, the Metro?

1568
01:14:38,020 --> 01:14:39,021
The Metro?

1569
01:14:39,105 --> 01:14:40,439
Yeah, the Metro.

1570
01:14:40,523 --> 01:14:42,608
You know the Metro, Max.

1571
01:14:43,067 --> 01:14:45,236
Remember? You used to, like, live there.

1572
01:14:45,361 --> 01:14:47,905
You know, Max and the Metro.

1573
01:14:50,908 --> 01:14:53,786
Oh. The Metro dance club.

1574
01:14:54,245 --> 01:14:58,165
Yeah, they got some
dancing and there's a bar.

1575
01:14:58,249 --> 01:14:59,583
Yeah, I know.

1576
01:15:01,252 --> 01:15:03,212
So, did you guys, uh...

1577
01:15:03,963 --> 01:15:05,089
You guys dance, or...

1578
01:15:05,172 --> 01:15:06,590
Maybe one dance.

1579
01:15:06,674 --> 01:15:07,675
A half a dance.

1580
01:15:07,758 --> 01:15:09,176
Oh, just half a dance.

1581
01:15:13,347 --> 01:15:17,518
Oh, Jay, I didn't realize
you were so fleet-footed.

1582
01:15:18,102 --> 01:15:21,022
Well, I'm pretty good, huh?

1583
01:15:23,899 --> 01:15:26,027
So, what else did you guys do?

1584
01:15:27,069 --> 01:15:28,320
We went home.

1585
01:15:28,404 --> 01:15:30,072
Oh, yeah. We just came right home.

1586
01:15:35,953 --> 01:15:36,954
Whose home?

1587
01:15:38,789 --> 01:15:39,832
What do you mean?

1588
01:15:40,249 --> 01:15:42,626
I mean, did you guys
come back here to our place

1589
01:15:42,710 --> 01:15:46,005
or did you go to Fred
Astaire's rat-infested shithole?

1590
01:15:47,173 --> 01:15:51,260
Hey. Something smells good.

1591
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:53,846
Hi.

1592
01:15:53,929 --> 01:15:54,972
Hi.

1593
01:16:03,481 --> 01:16:07,234
Oh, my God. This garlic bread is great.

1594
01:16:08,235 --> 01:16:10,362
Join us. Please.

1595
01:16:12,198 --> 01:16:13,449
Thanks.

1596
01:16:21,791 --> 01:16:22,917
So...

1597
01:16:25,252 --> 01:16:27,046
How was Detroit, Max?

1598
01:16:27,129 --> 01:16:30,591
Yeah, Max. How was the old Motor City?

1599
01:16:30,674 --> 01:16:33,177
Any action going on in the Motor City?

1600
01:16:33,719 --> 01:16:37,056
Always action going on
in Detroit, isn't there?

1601
01:16:37,139 --> 01:16:40,309
As a matter of fact, I hear
there's all sorts of action

1602
01:16:40,392 --> 01:16:43,854
going down at the Detroit
Marriott, isn't that right?

1603
01:16:43,938 --> 01:16:45,064
You wanna shut the fuck up?

1604
01:16:45,147 --> 01:16:46,690
Am I missing something?

1605
01:16:46,774 --> 01:16:47,817
No.

1606
01:16:48,150 --> 01:16:49,318
What happened in Detroit?

1607
01:16:49,401 --> 01:16:51,028
Nothing happened in Detroit.

1608
01:16:51,112 --> 01:16:52,255
It sounds like something did.

1609
01:16:52,279 --> 01:16:54,323
Well, nothing did. He's drunk, okay?

1610
01:16:54,406 --> 01:16:56,158
He's been drinking an awful lot lately.

1611
01:16:56,242 --> 01:16:57,451
He's right.

1612
01:16:57,868 --> 01:17:00,454
Max, did something happen in Detroit?

1613
01:17:01,330 --> 01:17:03,040
No, nothing.

1614
01:17:03,124 --> 01:17:05,793
How the hell does this get
turned on me all of a sudden?

1615
01:17:05,876 --> 01:17:06,877
What...

1616
01:17:07,670 --> 01:17:10,464
Damn it, Sam, Jay thinks
you're attracted to him.

1617
01:17:16,303 --> 01:17:17,304
Well, are you?

1618
01:17:21,058 --> 01:17:22,476
Andrea, go to your room now!

1619
01:17:22,560 --> 01:17:23,561
Right.

1620
01:17:23,644 --> 01:17:26,313
Hey, hey, hey! I want an answer here.

1621
01:17:31,652 --> 01:17:34,321
What's going on? You tell me.

1622
01:17:34,405 --> 01:17:36,365
Are you attracted to him?

1623
01:17:39,326 --> 01:17:41,287
You forced it on us, Max.

1624
01:17:43,122 --> 01:17:44,123
What?

1625
01:17:44,206 --> 01:17:45,624
Forced what on you?

1626
01:17:45,708 --> 01:17:48,002
Maybe it was inevitable anyway.

1627
01:17:48,586 --> 01:17:51,172
How... What is inevitable?

1628
01:17:52,256 --> 01:17:55,301
I love her and I think she loves me.

1629
01:17:55,926 --> 01:17:56,927
What?

1630
01:17:57,011 --> 01:17:58,429
I'm sorry, Max.

1631
01:18:03,517 --> 01:18:05,060
What are you talking about?

1632
01:18:08,939 --> 01:18:10,733
Sam, I love you.

1633
01:18:11,775 --> 01:18:14,945
I've never loved anyone
the way I love you.

1634
01:18:16,780 --> 01:18:19,450
I've never, ever felt this.

1635
01:18:45,559 --> 01:18:48,646
You... You little dick.

1636
01:18:48,729 --> 01:18:50,397
You...

1637
01:18:52,650 --> 01:18:54,109
I'm sorry, Max.

1638
01:18:54,193 --> 01:18:57,404
No, man, you... You had me going.

1639
01:18:57,488 --> 01:18:58,614
Whoa!

1640
01:18:59,990 --> 01:19:03,244
You had me going. You sick...

1641
01:19:03,327 --> 01:19:06,914
You just tongued my fiancée. Whoo!

1642
01:19:06,997 --> 01:19:10,793
Max, Max, I'm not joking.

1643
01:19:10,876 --> 01:19:14,296
So, what? You told her...
You told her about our test?

1644
01:19:14,380 --> 01:19:16,215
Your test, and no, I didn't.

1645
01:19:16,298 --> 01:19:17,299
What test?

1646
01:19:17,383 --> 01:19:20,219
Oh, good. That's good. "What test?"

1647
01:19:20,302 --> 01:19:22,096
So, you told her about the test

1648
01:19:22,179 --> 01:19:24,807
and then you concocted this
little joke to get back at me?

1649
01:19:24,890 --> 01:19:27,142
Let me tell you, for
the record, you got me.

1650
01:19:27,226 --> 01:19:28,852
Shit, you got me good.

1651
01:19:28,936 --> 01:19:30,521
Max. Fine... Bravo.

1652
01:19:30,604 --> 01:19:31,855
Max. Bravo, man.

1653
01:19:31,939 --> 01:19:34,191
It's not a joke, okay? I love her.

1654
01:19:34,275 --> 01:19:35,835
Right. No, I know, Jay. You've told me.

1655
01:19:35,901 --> 01:19:38,237
You love her and Natasha
means nothing to you.

1656
01:19:38,320 --> 01:19:39,905
Yeah, right. Come on!

1657
01:19:39,989 --> 01:19:41,031
Jay, what test?

1658
01:19:41,115 --> 01:19:44,118
Max had this idea that
you might cheat on him

1659
01:19:44,201 --> 01:19:46,120
and wanted me to be the test subject.

1660
01:19:46,203 --> 01:19:47,889
Keep going, keep going.
And you agreed to that?

1661
01:19:47,913 --> 01:19:49,790
Of course I didn't agree to it,

1662
01:19:49,873 --> 01:19:51,083
but he wouldn't let it go.

1663
01:19:51,166 --> 01:19:53,419
You just wouldn't let it go.

1664
01:20:03,345 --> 01:20:06,432
What, am I on fucking <i>Candid
Camera</i> here? What's going on?

1665
01:20:07,641 --> 01:20:09,244
Hey, hey, are you
telling me this whole time

1666
01:20:09,268 --> 01:20:10,954
I've been after you to
see if she's go for you,

1667
01:20:10,978 --> 01:20:13,772
what, you've been
falling in love with her?

1668
01:20:17,401 --> 01:20:22,197
Max, I think I was in love
with her before I set you up.

1669
01:20:27,870 --> 01:20:29,350
Do you know what you're saying to me?

1670
01:20:35,044 --> 01:20:36,503
Don't I feel like a fucking asshole.

1671
01:20:36,587 --> 01:20:38,756
No, I feel like the asshole!

1672
01:20:39,256 --> 01:20:40,257
You give me a ring,

1673
01:20:40,341 --> 01:20:42,901
then you tell me you want to
spend the rest of your life with me,

1674
01:20:42,968 --> 01:20:46,680
and then immediately you ask your
best friend to try to get me in bed.

1675
01:20:47,431 --> 01:20:50,111
Well, it looks like you're ready
to fuck him, so I guess you failed.

1676
01:20:50,184 --> 01:20:52,186
You're pathetic.

1677
01:20:55,314 --> 01:20:57,107
And you. If you love me so much,

1678
01:20:57,191 --> 01:20:59,818
how come you set me up
with him in the first place?

1679
01:20:59,902 --> 01:21:01,028
The truth?

1680
01:21:01,362 --> 01:21:02,571
Yeah.

1681
01:21:02,654 --> 01:21:08,160
I guess in some sick way I hoped
that Max would fall in love with you

1682
01:21:08,243 --> 01:21:13,248
and you'd kick his ass like Natasha
kicked mine and teach him a lesson.

1683
01:21:15,042 --> 01:21:17,711
Well, I guess I failed your test, too.

1684
01:21:28,263 --> 01:21:31,558
"I guess I failed your test, too."

1685
01:21:32,893 --> 01:21:33,936
Oh, that is rough.

1686
01:21:34,019 --> 01:21:35,145
Yeah, it was.

1687
01:21:35,229 --> 01:21:37,332
And Jay, full of guilt, he
didn't know which way to turn.

1688
01:21:37,356 --> 01:21:39,066
He's gotta go after the girl.

1689
01:21:39,149 --> 01:21:41,193
No, he's gotta go after his friend.

1690
01:21:41,276 --> 01:21:42,277
Well, he did neither.

1691
01:21:42,361 --> 01:21:45,572
<i>Went home, packed up his car,</i>

1692
01:21:49,243 --> 01:21:51,328
and drove to New York.

1693
01:22:01,755 --> 01:22:03,507
<i>Took the first apartment he looked at.</i>

1694
01:22:03,590 --> 01:22:06,009
Called Max. He refused to take his calls.

1695
01:22:07,261 --> 01:22:08,679
What up?

1696
01:22:08,762 --> 01:22:10,722
Stop calling me, traitor.

1697
01:22:14,893 --> 01:22:16,103
Hello.

1698
01:22:18,522 --> 01:22:19,731
Hello?

1699
01:22:37,541 --> 01:22:40,085
<i>Anyway, Max moved out.</i>

1700
01:22:40,169 --> 01:22:43,046
<i>And he refused to talk to Sam.</i>

1701
01:22:44,256 --> 01:22:46,675
<i>And she refused to talk to him.</i>

1702
01:22:56,143 --> 01:22:57,769
So how the hell did we get here?

1703
01:22:57,853 --> 01:23:00,314
All right. Hold on to your
horseshoes, big fella.

1704
01:23:01,231 --> 01:23:03,984
<i>Months passed. We released the book.</i>

1705
01:23:05,277 --> 01:23:07,279
<i>It was a monster success.</i>

1706
01:23:14,036 --> 01:23:17,164
<i>Every heartbroken geek
in the country bought it.</i>

1707
01:23:18,457 --> 01:23:20,083
<i>And Max?</i>

1708
01:23:20,167 --> 01:23:22,794
<i>He found his own book to put to use.</i>

1709
01:23:26,924 --> 01:23:28,217
<i>He read,</i>

1710
01:23:29,510 --> 01:23:31,011
<i>and he read,</i>

1711
01:23:33,096 --> 01:23:34,348
<i>and he read.</i>

1712
01:23:40,270 --> 01:23:43,482
<i>And a passage in it made
something in him change.</i>

1713
01:23:44,191 --> 01:23:48,362
<i>Understanding came over him
and he needed to see Jay.</i>

1714
01:24:06,046 --> 01:24:08,006
<i>He needed Sam there, too.</i>

1715
01:24:08,090 --> 01:24:11,218
<i>He knew she wouldn't talk
to him, so he enlisted Dre.</i>

1716
01:24:15,806 --> 01:24:18,141
<i>And he enlisted his
maître d' friend at Ambria</i>

1717
01:24:18,225 --> 01:24:20,018
and it was all set.

1718
01:24:20,102 --> 01:24:21,103
What was?

1719
01:24:21,186 --> 01:24:22,521
Patience.

1720
01:24:24,189 --> 01:24:27,192
Um, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

1721
01:25:07,482 --> 01:25:08,710
What do you think the letter said?

1722
01:25:08,734 --> 01:25:09,735
Which letter?

1723
01:25:09,818 --> 01:25:11,695
Either letter. I don't know. Tell us!

1724
01:25:13,030 --> 01:25:15,949
<i>Uh, could I have everyone's
attention? What up?</i>

1725
01:25:16,283 --> 01:25:18,410
Here's an advance copy
of Jay's next book.

1726
01:25:18,493 --> 01:25:20,871
You'll need to read it to find out.

1727
01:25:21,288 --> 01:25:23,332
Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute!

1728
01:25:23,415 --> 01:25:25,000
You can't leave us hanging like that.

1729
01:25:25,083 --> 01:25:26,960
We didn't even talk about the house!

1730
01:25:27,044 --> 01:25:29,171
<i>I know I don't like being
the center of attention,</i>

1731
01:25:29,254 --> 01:25:32,549
<i>but I have something to say
before we get dinner served.</i>

1732
01:25:32,633 --> 01:25:34,593
<i>First of all, I just want to say thank you,</i>

1733
01:25:34,676 --> 01:25:35,927
<i>thank you all for being here,</i>

1734
01:25:36,011 --> 01:25:38,138
<i>on such a special occasion.</i>

1735
01:25:38,221 --> 01:25:40,349
<i>It means a lot to us, so thanks.</i>

1736
01:25:41,058 --> 01:25:42,059
<i>Even you, Dre.</i>

1737
01:25:44,102 --> 01:25:46,563
<i>All right. I guess on to my toast.</i>

1738
01:25:46,647 --> 01:25:50,651
Cliff, come on. Speech.

1739
01:25:50,734 --> 01:25:54,112
<i>A couple of years ago, my best
friend Jay here gave me a book.</i>

1740
01:25:54,196 --> 01:25:56,281
<i>It was written in 18-something or other</i>

1741
01:25:56,365 --> 01:25:59,910
<i>by a guy named La Rochefoucauld.</i>

1742
01:26:00,452 --> 01:26:01,703
<i>Yeah!</i>

1743
01:26:01,787 --> 01:26:04,414
<i>That only took two weeks.</i>

1744
01:26:06,917 --> 01:26:09,586
<i>Anyway, I finally came across this book</i>

1745
01:26:09,670 --> 01:26:11,630
<i>and decided to give it a read.</i>

1746
01:26:11,713 --> 01:26:16,968
<i>And while I didn't understand half
of this very big, very boring book,</i>

1747
01:26:17,427 --> 01:26:21,098
<i>what I did get I wanted to
share with you, and it's this.</i>

1748
01:26:22,224 --> 01:26:25,102
<i>True love cannot be found</i>

1749
01:26:25,185 --> 01:26:27,354
<i>where it does not truly exist,</i>

1750
01:26:29,690 --> 01:26:33,193
<i>nor can it be hidden where it truly does.</i>

1751
01:26:35,445 --> 01:26:38,907
<i>And with that, as my
best friend Jay's best man,</i>

1752
01:26:39,825 --> 01:26:41,368
<i>I want to raise my glass</i>

1753
01:26:42,119 --> 01:26:43,829
<i>to Samantha and Jay.</i>

1754
01:26:45,789 --> 01:26:47,749
<i>And what can I say?</i>

1755
01:26:48,208 --> 01:26:51,753
<i>I hope one day I should be so lucky,</i>

1756
01:26:51,837 --> 01:26:55,132
<i>we all should be so lucky, to
find someone that makes us feel</i>

1757
01:26:55,215 --> 01:26:58,343
<i>the way you two obviously
feel about each other.</i>

1758
01:27:03,014 --> 01:27:04,224
<i>I love you.</i>

1759
01:27:11,398 --> 01:27:14,443
<i>I'm getting a little misty
so let's, uh, you know...</i>

1760
01:27:14,526 --> 01:27:16,069
<i>Too much love in the air.</i>

1761
01:27:16,153 --> 01:27:18,655
<i>Let's get some music going</i>

1762
01:27:18,739 --> 01:27:20,866
<i>and let's have you all
out on the dance floor</i>

1763
01:27:20,949 --> 01:27:23,618
<i>for your first dance as husband and wife.</i>

1764
01:27:37,007 --> 01:27:38,008
Oh, Max.

1765
01:28:06,203 --> 01:28:07,996
So what the hell did the letter say?

1766
01:28:08,079 --> 01:28:10,239
- Come on, honey.
- Would you get him away from me, please?

1767
01:28:30,268 --> 01:28:32,062
- Hey.
- You wanna dance?

1768
01:28:32,145 --> 01:28:33,206
- No. No thanks.
- Come on. Get up.

1769
01:28:33,230 --> 01:28:34,290
- Not interested.
- Here we go.

1770
01:28:34,314 --> 01:28:36,107
I'm not doing it.

1771
01:28:53,333 --> 01:28:55,293
So, uh, you have money, huh?

1772
01:28:57,295 --> 01:28:58,296
Yes.

1773
01:28:58,380 --> 01:29:00,340
Yeah, me, too. It's good.